Blessings
by Julie Horwitz
Summary: Samantha Carter makes a troubling discovery about herself just as SG1 embarks on a mission that could potentially end the war against the Goa'uld.


**Disclaimer: **

The following is a work of fanfiction. All characters and situations belonging to the television series "Stargate SG-1" are copyright MGM Television Entertainment and Gekko Film Corp. Everything else, including original characters, is of my own creation.

**Author's Notes: **

This story is a first for me in a great many ways. First and foremost, this is my first "Stargate" fanfiction. It is also the first story I've written for a tv show still in production in which I deviate from canon. "Blessings" takes place in an alternate universe and ignores the return of Daniel Jackson, a character of whom I have never been fond. Instead, Jonas Quinn is still the fourth member of SG-1 and he plays a major role in this story.  
Most importantly of all, this is a Sam Carter/Jack O'Neill romance. If you do not support or see the relationship, then this is not the story for you. The romance is the main focus of the plot.  
Another important thing to note is that I have not seen all of season six. The first episode I viewed was "Smoke and Mirrors." Any information about prior episodes of that particular season is based on the transcripts that I have found posted on various websites, mainly " ". I also used the transcripts to reference episodes from different seasons as I have seen all the episodes only once.  
This story contains references to both death and sexual situations. Younger readers should be advised.  
All comments and questions may be sent to me at: jhorwitz  
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the story.

_**Blessings **_  
by  
Julie Horwitz

As she sat down at her kitchen counter with a cup of coffee, Samantha Carter tried unsuccessfully not to look at the overturned invitation lying directly in front of her. She had deposited it there yesterday afternoon immediately after opening it, hoping that it would spontaneously disappear (despite knowing the scientific impossibility of such an act). She didn't even want to think about what it said. Reading it had been bad enough.

_I can't believe how long it's been,_ she sighed as the sight of it reminded her of how much of Megan's life she'd missed.

Megan.

Her cousin.

Her _baby_ cousin.

Her now twenty-two-year-old baby cousin who was getting married in a month.

The appearance of an invitation by itself had taken her by surprise, but nothing could have prepared her for whom it was from.

Megan had only been ten the last time she had seen her. How had she grown up so fast? Where had all the time gone?

"Unbelievable," Sam muttered, finally giving in and picking up the offending card.

There was nothing special about the invitation. It was the usual affair, complete with a self-addressed RSVP card and envelope. What made it stand out, however, was the handwritten note from Megan.

"Hey, Big Sam", it began. "Big Sam" had been Megan's nickname for her for as long as she could remember. "I've been thinking about you a lot lately. We haven't seen each other in ages and I really miss you. I don't know about you, but I see my wedding as a GREAT place to start making up for lost time. What do you think, you old fart?"

Sam couldn't help but laugh each time she read that sentence. It was pure Megan. Although Sam was only fifteen years older than her cousin, Megan had declared her an old fart when she had been four.

"Besides, I want you to meet David so badly. We've been together since high school and he's the love of my life. I know you'll just love him too. He's into science as much as we are, if you can believe that. I know I didn't at first and I met him in science class!

"Anyway, I really hope you'll come. We have so much to talk about! Love you, you old fart! Megan."

Sam shook her head. From what she could tell, Megan hadn't changed a bit. She still sounded like the fun-loving, energetic bundle of energy she remembered. She hoped this David she was marrying could handle her.

Marrying. It was such a strange thought. Little Megan getting married. (Well, not so little now.) The last time Sam had seen Megan she had only been in elementary school and had still found boys disgusting. And Sam hadn't exactly been trying to change her mind.

That had been only one year after she'd broken off her engagement to Jonas. She hadn't quite gotten over it then and had been wary of men in general. She had loved him so much...

She sighed once more as she replaced the invitation on the counter. Jonas Hanson had by no means been her first love, but he had been the first she believed she would spend the rest of her life with. Yes, he'd had major ego issues, but at the time she had been so sure they could work through them. And if he hadn't hit her, they probably would still have been together...

Now, thanks to that ego and temper of his, he was gone. The closed iris covering the Stargate had seen to that, dispersing his particles at the moment of impact.

_Damn you, Jonas._

Though she'd never tell anyone, not even Janet, she had secretly hoped to have left the military a long time ago. For the longest time, she had dreamed of just being a civilian scientist after she had achieved her goal of reaching space. (That was truly the only reason she had entered the military. After all, she'd spent most of her early life hating it for taking her parents from her, both literally and figuratively.) It was the only career that would have allowed her to be a wife and mother as well. It would have given her family the kind of stability she had never had as a child.

A family it now seemed she was never going to have.

Life as a member of SG-1 would never allow it.

Not as long as _he_ was part of the team.

But if he asked her to, she would give it all up in a heartbeat.

Not that he ever would. She knew he had feelings for her, of that there was no doubt. There'd been too many moments between them for her to ever question their existence. However, she knew they weren't as strong as the ones she held for him. After all, he'd never said anything to make her think otherwise.

She sighed again. They were obviously not meant to be in this dimension. (How she'd envied her double for having achieved her dream, even if it had only been for a short time. How it had hurt to watch her kiss him.) She had long ago reconciled with herself that they would never be more than friends and teammates.

But that didn't mean she'd stop loving him.

Ever.

Despite her feelings for him, there was always the hope she could find someone who _could_ be with her, who _would_ love her back. She was tired of coming home to an empty house on her downtime. It was why she preferred staying at the SGC and spending all of her free moments working in the lab. It kept her from thinking about how lonely she was.

The short time Orlin had been in her life had given her a taste of what she knew she was missing. She had liked having someone waiting for her when she got home. She had liked having someone showing an interest in her just for her. It had made her feel special and cared for.

Orlin's ascension had hurt her in more ways than she could count. She had lost someone she had come to care about deeply. But, more than that, she had lost the only person who had showed her what it could possibly be like if her dreams of family had come true. Even nearly two years later, she still missed the sweet alien who had forced his way into her life only because he shared his spirit with hers and liked what he had seen.

Sam finished her coffee and got up from the counter. She brought her empty cup over to the sink and gently deposited it inside. Then she went to her living room and plopped down onto her couch, curling up in a corner.

She barely glanced at the huge book laying on her coffee table. She wasn't in the mood to do any heavy reading, especially about time-space distortions. She was too upset.

Thinking about Orlin, Jonas, and Ja-, _the colonel,_ had only served to deepen her feelings of loneliness, which Megan's invitation had only brought to the surface. The past seven years had introduced so many men into her life that she had, at one time or another, been able to see herself having a future of some sort.

Narim.

Martouf.

Joe.

But, sadly, they were all gone now.

Gone.

_Dead._

All of them were dead...

"Oh god," Sam murmured as the thought struck her.

With the exception of the colonel, every single man she had ever found herself seriously attracted to had died.

Every single one of them.

"Oh god," she repeated.

It was such a horrible thing to contemplate but it was true. There was no disputing the facts. Her scientific mind wouldn't allow for it. There was a distinct pattern of death connected to her love life. Or, more correctly, her lack there of.

It was always the same. She'd meet someone incredibly nice. (Jonas, before he turned into the megalomanical monster he was at the end, had been one of the sweetest.) There'd be a mutual attraction. The guy would try to initiate a relationship of some sort with her. Then, no matter what she said or did, he would tragically die in the future, be it days or years later.

It made no difference when it happened. Dead was dead.

And the only common denominator in all of them was her.

They became attracted to _her_ and then they died.

Until this moment of startling clarity, she'd only believed their deaths to be a horrible consequence of the dangerous situations they had found themselves in. Never before had she looked at it from this angle. The angle of her relationship to these men. She'd always felt that her feelings for each of them was coincidental. Now she was no longer so sure that that was the case.

Maybe _she_ was the cause...

She sat up and shook her head.

_Stop it. Stop it,_ she admonished herself. She was being ridiculous. How could she be the reason they had died? Curses didn't exist. There was no scientific evidence of them. And there was scientific evidence behind everything real.

Yet wasn't the string of deaths attached to her love life evidence enough that something wasn't right? That every time she felt she'd found someone to fill the void he'd be lost to her? And, wasn't the reverse true as well? Without any evidence directly contradicting something's existence, there was no reason to believe that it did _not_ exist.

And since she had yet to maintain a single relationship in her life...

"Oh, god. Maybe I _am_ cursed."

The possibility that a curse did exist utterly depressed her. It meant the death of her dream. She could never have a family.

Never fall in love again.

Truthfully, that was the only way to end this so-called curse of hers, if it did actually exist. Without any proof and only past evidence to rely on, the only counter she could think of was avoidance. Avoid the stimuli and the proven results could not come to fruition. That, at least, was a scientific fact.

No one else was going to die because he had feelings for her.

She would stake her life on it.

((((())))))

Jack O'Neill sat in the SGC commissary eating a bowl of cereal, getting ready for yet another exciting day of exploring the universe and, more likely than not, saving some primitive people's butts from the Goa'uld. Or some local nut job. Whichever was causing the most trouble at the moment.

_I so don't miss retirement,_ he cheerily declared.

He looked up to see if any of his teammates were around. He always enjoyed their company. Well, mostly. When Carter was in one of her animated moods about some scientific thingie, he couldn't get away from her fast enough. (As much as he loved being with her, boring was boring! What did she get from all that science stuff anyway? Excitement?) Even Jonas wasn't that bad when he discovered something "new".

_And speaking of the devil,_ he thought as he saw Carter enter the commissary. She didn't seem to be bouncing up and down, which he took as a good sign that she wasn't going to scare him off with something that was way over his head.

Actually, she didn't seem to be doing much at all. In fact, she looked downright awful.

Jack immediately became concerned. This wasn't like Carter at all. Although she was by no means what he'd call a "girly girl," she usually took pride in her appearance. Today, however, she looked like she'd gotten dressed in the dark. Her hair was unbrushed and her clothes didn't match.

What had happened to her between Friday and this morning? Was she sick?

And, even stranger, she didn't seem to be talking to anyone. Carter was normally a chatterbox, even on a Monday morning. She just loved to share her thoughts and discoveries, even if her vic-,er, target could care less about them.

Yep, there was no doubt about it. Carter was either sick or had been replaced by yet another alien, dimensional double, or whatever.

"Hey, Carter," he called to get her attention as she, in yet another first, turned to leave the commissary with her tray.

Thankfully, she stopped at the sound of his voice.

"Over here," he directed her and she turned to face him.

She nodded as she saw him and started to come over.

_No smile,_ he silently noted. Not a good sign. Carter _always_ smiled when she saw him, which was a sight he treasured. (What man in his right mind wouldn't?) If she wasn't smiling...

"Morning, Major," he greeted her as she arrived.

"Sir," she nodded, sitting down.

"You look like hell," he casually commented, hoping to ignite a spark in her.

She looked down. "I'm sorry, sir. I'm just very tired this morning."

Her reaction stunned him. Where was the usual retort? The wit? And where the hell was her smile? What was wrong with her?

"Geez, what did you do last night? Party with all the other science geeks in the neighborhood?" he tried again.

"Nothing like that," she waved him off, apparently oblivious to his attempts to jar her out of her funk. "I couldn't sleep. That's all."

"Bad dreams?" he asked seriously.

She shook her head. "No, I just couldn't fall asleep. I spent the whole night tossing and turning."

"You feel all right?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Just, like I said, tired." She looked up at him. "Don't worry. I'll be fine for the mission."

Is that what she thought this was all about? That he was questioning her fitness for the mission? He thought she knew him better than that. Then something _was_ seriously bothering her.

"That's for the doc to decide," he informed her. "You really _do_ look awful, Carter."

_Finally_, she smiled. It was a small one, but still a smile. And Jack was taking what he could get.

"Thanks a lot, sir," she replied.

"No problem," he smiled back. "Besides, I need you to be at your best. You're the only one I can toss Jonas onto when he _really_ starts to get on my nerves."

Her smile brightened a little more. "Oh, come on. You don't mind him half as much as you used to."

He gave her his best innocent look. "I have absolutely no idea what you mean."

This was good. Carter was starting to act like her normal self. Maybe she _was_ just tired like she said.

"I find him to be-"

"Unscheduled incoming traveler," boomed the SGC's P.A. system over the sudden loud sound of alarms.

Jack and Sam looked at each other for a second before taking off in a dead run for the Gateroom.

((((())))))

"Sam," her father warmly greeted her as she and the colonel entered the Gateroom.

She smiled as she saw him. "Dad! It's so great to see you!"

Finally, something to get her mind off her problems.

"Great to see you too, Kid," he said as he came over and hugged her.

"Hey Jacob," the colonel piped up.

"Jack," he nodded as he released Sam.

"I take it this isn't a social call," the colonel stated, indicating something out of sight with his head.

Sam turned to look in the direction he had pointed to and noticed for the first time a second arrival. A woman.

"Not exactly," Dad agreed, "but it isn't actually a mission request either."

"Then tell us what we can do for you," General Hammond asked as he, along with Teal'c and Jonas, appeared.

"_We would prefer to continue this in private,_" the female Tok'ra finally spoke.

"Of course," the general nodded.

"This is Anuck," Dad introduced his companion.

"_I am pleased to meet you all at last,_" Anuck said. "_Many of my fellow Tok'ra speak very highly of you._"

"Just 'many'?" the colonel wanted to know.

Sam suppressed the urge to laugh. Leave it to Colonel O'Neill to try to find the negative in everything he came across, even a compliment.

She had really appreciated his concern for her back in the commissary. It showed how much he cared. (She really was just tired. She'd spent the entire night thinking about her "curse." Luckily, she'd been able to pull herself together before reporting for duty.) But, thankfully, it wasn't the kind of caring that would cost him his life.

For once, she was grateful for the regs that kept them apart.

"Now, if you'll come with me," General Hammond said with a wave, indicating for everyone to follow.

((((())))))

"So," the general began as they settled around the briefing room table, "how can we help you, Jacob?"

"Actually, it's more along the lines of how we can help each other," Dad explained. He turned to Sam. "Does the name Canell ring any bells?"

"Canell?" She tried to think but nothing came up. "Uh, no. Why?"

"_I believe she was before Jolinar's time,_" Anuck put in.

Dad closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them, Sam was not too surprised to see them flash briefly.

"_She was my contemporary,_" Selmak agreed.

"Now I love a little family history as much as the next guy," the colonel interrupted, "but could we get to the point already?"

"_Very well,_" Anuck assented. "_Canell was a deep undercover operative living as a slave in a very minor Goa'uld's fortress._" She looked at Teal'c. "_Do you know of Hera?_"

"I am aware of her," Teal'c said. "It was rumored that both Apophis and Anubis were using her to spread misinformation among the other System Lords."

"_Yes,_" Anuck confirmed. "_They had each promised her a place in their regime when one of them took over. She trusted neither completely and often twisted the information given to her even further._"

"Sounds like a real sweetheart," the colonel commented.

"_Over one thousand years ago, Canell, who was one of our founding members, was sent to learn all of the false information Hera was being given as well as passing along,_" Anuck continued. "_Our intent was to use it to our advantage in defeating all of the System Lords._"

"Let me guess. Something went wrong," the colonel said.

"For five years, she never missed a scheduled communication," Dad took over, Selmak having relinquished control once more. "And then one day, she did."

"Was she discovered?" Sam asked.

"_We do not believe so,_" Anuck answered. "_The Goa'uld usually make it known when they have captured and killed one of our kind. Canell simply disappeared._"

"So no one knows what happened to her?" Jonas questioned.

"Sadly, no," Dad told him, "which is going to make what I tell you next a real doozy."

Sam suddenly knew where this was going. "You've found her."

"Actually, believe it or not, she found us," Dad informed her.

"Well, that's nice I guess," the colonel put in, "but I'm still a little shaky on the helping each other part of this whole conversation. That _is_ what you came to tell us about, right?"

"Colonel O'Neill makes an excellent point," General Hammond agreed. "What does the rediscovery of Canell mean for Earth/Tok'ra relations?"

"Oh, you'll love this part, George," Dad said. "Canell has spent the last thousand years living among a very technologically advanced people she single-handedly freed from Hera. These people are a bunch of peace lovers, but they possess technology that can be easily adapted into weapons that could very well tip the war in our favor. And, best of all, they're willing to share."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up a second there, will you, Jake?" the colonel interjected. "Share? An advanced alien race actually wants to..._share_?"

"Not aliens, Jack," Dad corrected. "Humans. Like us. They were brought to the planet Canell found them on."

"Still aliens," the colonel insisted. "Who want to share?"

"_Why do you find that so hard to believe?_" Anuck wanted to know.

"Um, hello? Am I the only one with a memory in here?"

"What Colonel O'Neill is trying to say is that in the past, none of the more advanced races have deemed us ready to share their technology with," General Hammond clarified.

"Thank you," the colonel stated.

"Except for the Aschen," Jonas pointed out. "But they only wanted to conquer us."

"I can understand why you'd be cautious," Dad said, "but I've spent some time with these people and I believe they are genuine about their offer."

"Oh, I'm sure they are," the colonel agreed. "They _always_ are. And then just when you think it's safe, they turn right around and bite you in the ass."

"What O'Neill says is true," Teal'c agreed. "We have had many unpleasant experiences with seemingly friendly peoples."

"_The Spinrel have no reason to harm anyone,_" Anuck pointed out. "_They have a self-contained existence. Canell cut them off from the rest of the galaxy._"

"Then how did she find you?" Sam asked.

"There's a camera set up right by the Stargate," Dad explained. "Canell has monitored all gate activity since she moved the Spinrel to their planet's moon."

"Is that how she freed them from Hera?" Jonas wanted to know.

"_Yes,_" Anuck nodded. "_They destroyed their entire city to make it appear as if they had been wiped out by an accident of their own making._"

"Hera's not the most attentive of Goa'uld's," Dad commented. "In fact, over the last few millennia, she's lost more systems than anyone."

"Ah," the colonel said. "I can see why she hasn't made the Goa'uld top ten."

"During my time as Apophis' first prime, Hera was made the object of many jokes by the System Lords," Teal'c added. "They doubted her ability to ever join their ranks despite her efforts."

"So if the humans on one of her planets destroyed themselves, no one would be surprised," Sam concluded. She looked at the colonel. "You have to admit, sir, it was a pretty brilliant plan."

"As far as 'making-the-bad-guy-believe-you've-gone-poof' plans go, then yeah," he agreed.

"I have to say that I feel that someone who went through all that trouble to free an entire people can most likely be trusted," General Hammond announced. "Colonel O'Neill, I think that SG-1 should at least go and meet this Canell." He turned to Dad and Anuck. "I can't make any promises without speaking with the president, but if SG-1's findings agree with what you have said, I think that we may have just reached the turning point in this war."

"I...wouldn't say that just yet, General," the colonel once again spoke up. "We haven't even met this Canell yet. No offense, Jacob, but we only have your word to go on. How do we know you and your buddy here weren't, say, coerced into thinking this Canell was the be-all-and-end-all of all Tok'radom?"

"_No coercion took place,_" Anuck asserted.

"You sure about that?" the colonel pressed. "How do you even know that what she told you wasn't just some song and dance to get you to trust her?"

"_Song and dance?_" Anuck repeated.

"A lie," the colonel clarified. "You know, those untruths you tell people to get them to look the other way?"

"_What purpose would she have in lying?_" Anuck wanted to know. "_Canell is one of our own. She believes in the same things we do. She has no reason to deceive us._"

"Maybe, maybe not. It's been, what, a few thousand years since she disappeared? How do you know she hasn't changed her tune and now works for the bad guys?" the colonel questioned.

"_We would know,_" Anuck simply stated.

"Ooookay," the colonel said.

"It really doesn't make any sense for her to lie, Colonel," Sam spoke up. "If she had wanted to destroy the Tok'ra, she probably would have done it the moment they stepped through the gate. Why go through all the trouble of contacting them and offering to share technology?"

"Maybe she's looking for a hobby?" the colonel quipped. "I don't know. All I do know is that we need to check things out before we even think of agreeing to an alliance."

"I agree with O'Neill," Teal'c seconded.

"You have forty-eight hours," the general said. "Go with Jacob. Meet Canell and take a look around. Report back any suspicious findings. If you find everything to be as they seem, I'll call the president as soon as you come back."

"Okay," the colonel agreed. "So when do we leave?"

"As soon as possible," General Hammond told him. "Report to the infirmary for your pre-mission examinations. Dismissed."

"You heard the general, kids. Let's go pay the doc a visit," the colonel ordered the team.

Sam looked at Dad before turning back to the colonel. "I'll be there in a minute."

"Sure thing, Major."

"Thank you, sir."

"You and Dad have yourselves a nice chat. And don't worry. We won't leave without you."

"Very funny, Jack," Dad said.

"I aim to please," the colonel grinned before he headed out of the briefing room.

General Hammond turned to Anuck. "Since this is your first time on Earth, would you like a small tour of the SGC while waiting to leave?"

"_Yes_," Anuck nodded graciously and rose to her feet. "_It would please both me and my host. Ivala is very curious to see more of your world but she is too shy to ask you herself._"

General Hammond got up from the table as well. "Major. Jacob," he acknowledged the others before giving Anuck his full attention. "Right this way," he said, leading her out of the room.

The room fell silent as Sam and her father took a moment to just enjoy each other's company. Spending time with him had always been a rarity, but ever since he became a Tok'ra she saw even less of him than before.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Dad began.

"Well, you've been busy," Sam pointed out. "How's the alliance with the Jaffa going?"

"It hasn't fallen apart yet, if that's what you mean," he told her. "There's still a lot of resentment on both sides."

"Yeah," she agreed. "Until the System Lords are out of the picture, I'm sure there'll always be."

Dad sighed. "Sometimes it seems like there's no end in sight."

"I know what you mean," she said. "So, how'd you end up on the planet where Canell found you?"

"I was part of a party looking for new possible safe worlds. Ever since we lost Revanna, we've pretty much spent all of our time on the run. The Jaffa have supplied us with coordinates to worlds that no longer interest the System Lords for one reason or another, so we're checking them all out."

"One man's garbage," she recited thoughtfully. "How many worlds are suitable?"

"Counting Spinrel, we've now added eight new planets," he told her.

"That's wonderful," she smiled.

"So enough about me. How are things with you? Are you getting enough rest? You look terrible," he bluntly informed her.

"Thanks a lot, Dad," she said. "You sound exactly like Colonel O'Neill."

He raised an eyebrow. "Said the same thing, did he?"

"Minus the concern," she clarified.

"Oh, you know Jack. It was in there. Somewhere."

"Yeah, he's a real 'man's man'," she said. "Every sentiment is encased in heavy sarcasm."

"He does care, you know."

"I know."

He gave her a look. "Do you?"

"Dad!"

"I'm not blind, Kid. I see the way you two look at each other. I always have," he informed her. "You're way past friendship."

_Oh, great!_ "Well, it's no secret that the Colonel and I do share certain-"

"Don't give me that 'sharing feelings' crap, Sam," he admonished her. "I know you much better than that. And I know Jack pretty well too."

_This can't be happening! This just cannot be happening!_ "It doesn't matter anyway. The non-fraternization regs mean we can't do anything other than share feelings." _Which means they're the only things keeping him safe._

"They won't be there forever," he pointed out. "You know that as well as I do."

"That's a long way off. Besides, we both love our jobs. Neither of us are eager to leave them for anything." Which was true to a point. She _did_ love her job. It was a dream come true. But if it came down to either being a member of SG-1 or having the man she loved, there was no contest.

"Maybe you love it just a little too much," Dad commented.

She looked at him. "Just what are you getting at, Dad?"

"You need to have a life, Sam."

"And I have one," she told him. "It's called SG-1."

"A _real_ life," he clarified. "Have you taken a good look in the mirror today? You obviously aren't taking care of yourself."

"I didn't get any sleep last night, that's all," she told him. "I had a lot on my mind."

"All work related, I'm sure."

The conversation had reached the point of irritating her. "Can we just drop this? Please?"

He placed his hand on hers. "I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you, Sweetheart. I don't want you making the same mistakes I did."

"You did what you thought was best. Just like I'm doing for me."

"I just want you to be happy," he told her.

"Thanks." She gave a small smile. He really was just concerned for her. Despite his flaws, he'd always been a loving father to her and Mark. He had always tried to do what he thought was right for his children, even if it had been without their knowledge. (The astronaut incident just months before his blending with Selmak came immediately to mind.)

She decided that a subject change was in order. "You'll never guess who's getting married..."

((((())))))

Jack emerged from the Stargate to find himself in a virtual wasteland. In every direction he looked, he could find nothing but ruins and rubble.

Behind him, he heard the sounds of the rest of his team and their Tok'ra guides arriving. He turned to look at them.

"Does the word 'overkill' mean anything to these people?"

"They weren't taking any chances," Jacob told him. "Canell said they wanted Hera to believe that there couldn't have been any survivors."

"I'd say they did a pretty damn good job of convincing her," Jack commented.

"I can't believe they did this to themselves on purpose," Jonas commented.

"Not even the Goa'uld are this thorough," added Teal'c. "How did they accomplish this?"

"That's a question only Canell and her people can answer," Jacob answered.

"You mean you didn't ask?" Jack wanted to know.

"_There was no need,_" Anuck informed him.

"We were more interested in the bigger picture," Jacob said. "Why they had done it and things like that."

"Ah, yes," Jack nodded. "The 'bigger picture'. Got ya. So when do we get to meet this Canell?"

"_You may meet me right now._"

Jack whirled around at the sound of the voice, reflexively aiming his weapon as he turned. He didn't have to see to know Carter and Teal'c had followed suit.

"_I am Canell,_" a rather young looking woman who had appeared next to the Stargate said. She couldn't have been much older than twenty. "_You must be the representatives of the Tau'ri._" She gave a small bow. "_I bid you welcome._" She turned to Jacob and Anuck next. "_Welcome back, my friends._"

"You're Canell?" Jack asked skeptically. He turned to look at the Tok'ra. "A little, um, _young_, isn't she?" He'd never seen any Tok'ra blend with a host this young before. He had to be careful. Although Jacob and Anuck denied the possibility, she could be a fake and this could be a big trap. The Goa'uld, on the other hand, had no problem using anyone or anything as a host, even a kid.

"Canell's" eyes fell closed and reopened almost instantaneously. She smiled brightly. "I am Canell's newest host. My name is Pymera. Canell and I have only been blended for two years. Her previous host was my cousin Tomara."

Jack didn't loosen his grip on his gun. He'd seen this trick pulled many times by various snakeheads. "So what happened? Where's Tomara?"

"Tomara fell in love and wanted to marry," the girl who called herself Pymera explained. "So another host had to be chosen. I volunteered."

"Pardon me for asking, but why?" Carter wanted to know.

_Yep, definitely just tired,_ Jack decided. There had been no sign of the fatigue he had seen in the commissary since Jacob had arrived on the scene but he had still been worried about her. Her behavior had just been so "unCarterlike" that he couldn't help but _worry_ about her. Now, however, he knew that she was perfectly fine. A tired or sick Carter wouldn't have cared about something like the shared feelings of a snake and its host. (Then again, who _but_ Carter would?)

And it relieved him.

More than he could (or should) say.

"_It has just been my way since I joined the Spinrel,_" Canell answered with a shrug. "_I decided that it would be unfair to monopolize the life of any one person here for too long since our population is so small. I have remained within the same family since I first arrived and change hosts as soon as my current one decides that she is ready to move on with her life. The length of that time depends on the host herself. Surprisingly, Tomara lasted longer with me than I would have ever imagined._"

"And how long was that?" Jonas asked.

"_Fifty years,_" Canell informed him. "_The shortest span of time I've ever shared with a host._"

"Fifty?!" Jack echoed. And she thought that was _short?!_ (And here he was thinking his own time being blended had been too long!)

"_Tomara and I were a poor match from the start,"_ Canell continued. "_Our opinions have always differed greatly and it was always assumed her sister Ayana would become my host after her great aunt Lisana. However, by the time Lisana decided that she was ready to settle down, Ayana had already fallen in love. I was left with no choice but to blend with Tomara. How could I have kept Ayana from being with the man she loved? _

"_The years I spent with Tomara were difficult but not altogether unpleasant. I liked her very much despite our differences of opinion on everything. I am happy that she finally found someone to settle down with, but did it have to be with _that _man? What was she thinking? _Everyone _knows that he is wrong for her! How can she stay with him?_"

Jack was taken aback by her emotional outburst. This was something new. An unstable snake. Who'd have thought?

Her eyes closed once more and then reopened. "I apologize for Canell's behavior," Pymera spoke. "Sumere was just the worst in a very long line of bad men that Tomara had had a relationship with. She'd always had poor taste in men but even I questioned her decision to marry Sumere. Canell and I find him equally repellant. It hurt her very much that Tomara did not take her advice about him."

"I'm sure," Carter agreed sympathetically. Jack turned to look at her and saw that she had already dropped her gun. (Carter had a tendency to trust everyone a little too easily, but that was just part of her charm.) "But her loss was your gain, right?"

Pymera smiled brightly again. "Yes. Canell and I have always been close. She was always there for me, even when Tomara was not. She is my best friend. I am glad that we have become one, even if many believe I was too young for the blending."

"We were just as surprised as you were, Jack," Jacob finally spoke up. "Even Selmak can't remember anyone blending with a human Pymera's age. The youngest she recalls is a man in his very late twenties."

"I was eighteen at the time of my blending," Pymera proudly told them.

"Wow," Jonas commented. "That was really brave of you. To offer to share your life at such a young age. You're a remarkable gir-, uh, woman."

Pymera blushed. (_Blushed. She actually blushed?_) "Thank you. You are very sweet. What is your name?"

"Jonas," Jonas told her with the brightest smile Jack had ever seen.

"Jonas," Pymera repeated. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Jonas."

"You're very sweet yourself," Jonas replied.

_Oh, you have got to be kidding me._ "Jonas? Uh, hey? What about introducing the rest of us?"

"Oh, yeah. Right," he said sheepishly. "Pymera, this is Colonel Jack O'Neill."

Jack finally lowered his gun. This girl appeared to have a genuine thing for Jonas which was the first real sign that she couldn't be _too_ evil. In the past, the true evil women types who went after him were rather aggressive about it, making their "affections" obvious. This shy thing Pymera had going was completely new.

It was possible that she was telling the truth, he conceded, given this new development, but it was still too early to tell. He'd hold off on making his decision for just a while yet.

"And this is Major Samantha Carter," Jonas continued.

"Hello," Carter greeted, smiling that gorgeous smile Jack loved seeing so much. (He was now absolutely convinced she had been telling him the truth back in the commissary. She was totally back to normal.)

"Carter," Pymera repeated and then looked at Jacob. "Selmak, isn't Carter the name of your host as well?"

"Sam's my daughter," Jacob answered for Selmak.

"_Samantha is the one who brought Jacob to us when Selmak was dying,_" Anuck put in. "_If it were not for her, neither would still be alive._"

"_Then I owe you a great thanks,_" Canell said. "_Selmak and I have been members of the Tok'ra since the beginning. If not for you, I would have never seen my friend again. Thank you._" She gave a small bow.

"Um, no problem," Carter answered, sounding a little uncomfortable in Jack's opinion.

"And last but certainly not least, this is Teal'c," Jonas introduced the final member of SG-1."

Teal'c only inclined his head and again Jack noticed he was the last to withdraw his weapon. Teal'c's staff was already in its resting position.

_Am I the only one who still finds this whole thing suspicious?_ "So, now that we all know each other, I'd like to hear more about this offer the Tok'ra said you were making."

"_Of course,_" Canell nodded. "_But first we must return to the city. We are too exposed here._"

"I thought this world was deserted," Jack said.

"It is," Pymera reemerged, "but Canell's years as a Tok'ra operative have made her wary of even the safest places." She smiled and turned back to Jonas. "Come. You will like Goapeith. We are very proud of how far we have come since Canell freed us from the Goa'uld."

"I can't wait to see it," Jonas told her and again Pymera blushed.

_Oh, for crying out loud!_

"This way," Pymera gestured as she took Jonas' arm and started to lead them to something that reminded Jack very much of the transportation device that he and Maybourne had gone through last year.

There was a hand-shaped indentation on the right side of the "doorway" and Pymera gently pressed it with her right hand.

Instantly, the "doorway" sprung to life.

"See you in Goapeith," she said and she stepped through, taking Jonas with her.

Jack looked at Carter, who shrugged, and then followed.

((((())))))

Sam knew the colonel was bored without even looking at him. The fact that Pymera and Canell were taking them on a tour of the city and explaining all the technology they saw as they went (it was fascinating!) was all she needed to know.

Plus there was the fact that he'd tried to wander off more than a few times over the past three hours.

"_The facility you see ahead of you is our premiere technology lab,_" Canell was explaining. "_There is where most of the devices you've seen have been developed. The research team is made up of the top scientists we have to offer._"

"Is this where we'll finally get to see something that can be used as a weapon, maybe?" the colonel asked.

Sam turned to stare at him. She couldn't believe he'd just asked that. (Well, actually she _could_, but still.) Dad and Anuck had made it very clear that these people did not manufacture weapons. The hope was that some of their technology could be developed into weapons back on Earth. From what she understood, the Spinrel valued their peace. A question like the colonel's could very well be viewed as an insult.

Luckily, Canell and Pymera were not as sensitive as she feared.

"_That is for you to decide,_" Canell told him. "_As I've explained, we do not produce any weapons. All technology is used to improve our way of living._"

"But what about defending yourselves?" Sam jumped in to try and smooth things over before the colonel took them too far. She had a feeling she knew the direction in which his thoughts were headed. "How would you fight off invaders if they ever found you?"

"_There is very little chance of that,_" Canell said. "_The Goa'uld believe we no longer exist. They have no reason to return to this system._"

"Well, that's one possibility," the colonel came in, "but what about other not-so-nice guys? Ones that, oh, let me see, don't use the gates but spaceships?"

"_What interest would anyone have in a small moon?_" Canell pointed out. "_In my years among the Tok'ra, I never once encountered a people who visited a moon when there was a nearby planet._"

"Maybe I'm not making myself clear," the colonel went on, setting off warning bells in Sam's mind. "You say you're into peace and love, which is great, but you want us to take _your_ technology, which you only use to, your own words, 'improve' your way of life. You guys don't make weapons, yet you again, your own words, 'hope' we can with your life-affirming technowhatits so that we can go out and kick the Goa'uld's asses to kingdom come. Is it me or is something very wrong with this picture?"

_And there it is,_ Sam inwardly groaned.

"_I do not understand,_" Canell stated, confusion in her voice.

"Oh, I think you do. What I really want to know is: what's in this for _you?_"

Canell seemed to grow even more confused.

"We're not sure we know what you mean," Pymera emerged. "What's in what for us?"

Colonel O'Neill groaned. "You know, I'm getting really sick and tired of everyone always playing dumb everywhere I go. The payoff. The reward. The upside. Any of this ringing a bell?"

"What I think the colonel means," Jonas jumped in from his place right next to Pymera, "is what will the Spinrel get out of helping us destroy the System Lords?"

"Yeah, what I said."

"Ah," Pymera smiled at Jonas, who was smiling back, "now I understand."

Sam couldn't help but smile too. It appeared that Jonas had finally found someone he had a true interest in. While she was sure he enjoyed his clueless flirting with the various female personnel of the SGC, she knew that he would find a real relationship much more rewarding. This was something she could say with the voice of experience.

An experience she could never risk having ever again...

"There would be no greater reward than knowing that the galaxy has been freed from the Goa'uld," Pymera affirmed. "While it is against our own ways to participate in warfare of any kind, we whole-heartedly support anyone who fights for freedom."

The colonel made a noise of disbelief.

"_Why do you question her intentions?_" Anuck wanted to know. "_She is Tok'ra._"

"Correction. She _was_ Tok'ra," he pointed out.

"_You are wrong, Colonel O'Neill. I am still very much a Tok'ra. Just because I do not live among my old people does not lessen my allegiance to them,_" Canell said.

"_There could not be a greater example of what we stand for,_" Selmak spoke up. "_You freed the Spinrel from Hera's grasp. You gave them their freedom._"

"I concur," Teal'c added his opinion. "Your actions were admirable."

Sam could tell that the colonel was starting to get very annoyed that he was the only one who still found Canell and the Spinrel to be suspicious.

_He'll come around,_ she decided. _He always does._

From the moment she had met him, she had known Colonel O'Neill didn't give anything unless it had been earned. That especially included trust. He'd been burned too many times to take anything at face value anymore. Not even an offer of friendship.

Until he knew for a fact that Canell was telling the truth, which Sam instinctively knew she was (if Dad and Selmak trusted her, she could too), he would not believe a word she or her host Pymera said. He'd eye everything she showed or told them with suspicion. He wouldn't let go of his distrust until he saw proof of the deal.

And that proof just happened to be inside the building right in front of them.

"You know, I'd really like to talk to some of your scientists while we're here," she spoke up, changing the subject. "It would be extremely helpful if I could get a basic understanding of your technology from the experts before we bring it back to Earth."

"_That is exactly why I am bringing you here,_" Canell told her. "_Our scientists are eager to teach you everything they know._"

"At least one of us will be having fun," the colonel muttered, and Sam laughed under her breath.

"_This way,_" Canell guided them.

((((())))))

"Welcome," warmly greeted a man in what Sam assumed was a local lab coat. "I am Earin, the head scientist of this facility. You must be the Tau'ri who will destroy the System Lords once and for all."

Sam exchanged a look with the colonel.

"That's us. Hopefully," the colonel said. "Jack O'Neill."

"Welcome, Jack. I will tell you anything you wish to know about our technology so that you understand it thoroughly."

He held up a finger. "Ah, about that..."

"I'm the one you'll be spending most of your time with," Sam jumped in. The expression on the colonel's face was priceless. "I'm Sam Carter. I represent the Earth's scientists."

Earin looked surprised. "You mean not all of you are?"

"Um, no," the colonel emphasized and Sam tried not to laugh.

"Is everyone in Goapeith a scientist then?" Jonas asked.

"No, but you are explorers from another world," Earin said. "Who else but scientists would explore?"

"You'd be surprised," Sam told him. "Earth is a very different place from where you come from."

Earin smiled. "I am beginning to see that." He turned to the colonel. "I apologize for my mistake. I did not intend to insult you."

"It's okay," the colonel waved him off. "Really."

"I am glad. So, will Sam be the only one of you coming with me?"

"Sir?" Sam questioned. It made perfect sense to her. She was the only one of the team that actually needed to _see_ the lab. There was no reason for the colonel's continued boredom.

"As tempting as that is," the colonel said, "I think it'll be best if we all go with you. You know, just to get the lay of the land. See what you have to offer."

"Very well," Earin agreed. "If you will all please follow me. I will first show you where we discuss possible projects..."

((((())))))

"So by sending the polarized particles here, you can power the entire device," Carter was saying. "That's amazing."

Jack resisted rolling his eyes as Earin gave her another one of his annoying grins. (Was it the five hundredth or five thousandth? He'd lost count about three hours ago.) It was one of those kind of smiles that made him just want to slug the guy. Or something. (For some reason.)

"You seem to say that about everything I've shown you, Sam."

Carter gave him a grin back. (Unlike Earin's, hers only made Jack want to smile back at her.) "I can't help it. The technology your people possesses. It's unlike anything I've ever seen. And believe me when I tell you that I've seen a lot."

"I'm sure you have," Earin agreed. "You have been exploring the galaxy for many years now."

"True," Carter agreed. "But I've never encountered any technology that comes anywhere near your level. It's like something out of a science fiction novel."

"You read fiction, Carter?" Jack teased her. "Will wonders never cease?"

She sent him a look. "Colonel!"

He gave her a grin of his own. (Take that, scientist guy!) "Hey, how would I know? Every time I see your nose stuck in a book, it's something with a title I can't even pronounce."

"Perhaps you don't know Sam as well as you think," Earin suggested, oblivious to that fact that they were just joking. (Could his geekiness be any more obvious?)

Carter flashed him another one of her winning smiles before turning back to Earin. "Getting back to this generator..."

Jack decided to tune out the technobabble for the moment and see how the rest of his team was doing. He turned around and only found Teal'c, Jacob, and Anuck. There was no sign of Jonas.

"Hey, where's Jonas?"

"I believe Jonas Quinn and Canell stopped following our guide about thirty minutes ago," Teal'c told him.

"And you didn't say something?" Jack wanted to know. He had to say he was disappointed in Teal'c. Of all the SG-1 team members, he was the one who usually agreed with Jack on just about everything. Which meant he wasn't supposed to trust Canell and the rest of the Spinrel yet because Jack certainly didn't, no matter how ga-ga her host seemed to be over Jonas.

"I did not see a reason to mention it," Teal'c said. "I do not believe Jonas Quinn to be in any danger."

"Really? And why is that?" _This should be good._

Jacob offered a grin of his own that remarkably resembled his daughter's. "Don't tell me you didn't notice how Jonas and Pymera were looking at each other."

"I don't think there's _anyone_ who didn't notice," Jack informed him. "So what are you saying? That they've gone to make out somewhere?"

"Who's gone to make out somewhere?" an amused voice interjected.

Jack turned around to see yet another grinning member of the Carter family. "Jonas and Canell are missing. Dad here seem to think they've gone to... You know."

Carter laughed. "Dad!"

"Hey, I was just stating the obvious," Jacob defended himself. "For what it's worth, Selmak agrees with me."

"Oh, great, just what we needed. A romantic snakehead!" Jack groaned.

"What is going on?" Earin asked as he came to join them.

"We're just speculating the whereabouts of Canell and a member of our group," Carter brought him up to speed.

"Ah, yes. Jonas," Earin nodded. "He and Canell were so engrossed in a conversation that I didn't have the heart to tell them that we were moving on. I'm sure they're still talking in the conference room."

"Engrossed? Really? And what were they so engrossed in?" Jack wanted to know. _Each other?_ he silently added.

"If I overheard correctly, they were discussing our people's method of keeping a record of history," Earin informed them. "Jonas seemed quite fascinated. I can tell you about it as well, if you'd like."

"No, that's okay," Jack told him. "I'm sure it's great, but Jonas can tell us later."

"Shall we continue with the tour then?" Earin offered.

"Why not?" Jack said.

"Hey, guys," came yet another voice. "Sorry we lost track of time and didn't see you leave. Did we miss anything?"

Jack muttered to himself about strangling naïve aliens as he turned to face the new arrivals.

"Ah, there you are," Earin smiled. "We were just wondering where the two of you were."

"You were?" Jonas questioned, looking sheepish. "Sorry about that. Pymera and Canell were telling me about-"

"The history books," Jack finished for him. "Yeah, yeah. We know. I'm sure it was _fascinating._"

"It is!" Jonas enthused, totally missing Jack's sarcasm (as usual). "But then again, Canell and Pymera could make _anything_ fascinating."

_Again with the blushing! What is it with this woman, er, women?_

"Jonas!" Pymera's voice admonished. "As we were explaining to him, there are no actual history books. We believe that an individual's story is far more interesting than a collective peoples. Our library is made up of personal journals that recount events from the writer's point of view."

"_I myself have spent many hours studying them,_" Canell reemerged. "_Pymera and I would be happy to show them to all of you once you have finished touring here._"

"I look forward to that," Jonas told her, getting yet another blush from the woman.

_Oh, god!_ Jack mentally groaned. He didn't think he could take much more of this.

Suddenly, he got an idea. "Jonas," he spoke, clasping a hand on his shoulder and pulling him aside. "A word."

"What is it, Colonel?"

"Why don't you and Canell go ahead to this library of hers? That way the two of you can have some quality alone time, if you know what I mean."

"Really?" Jonas perked up.

"Yes, really." It took all of his strength not to roll his eyes. "But I want you to do me a favor while you're with her."

"What?"

"You know how nobody knows exactly what happened to her before she came here?"

"Yes..."

"Well, I want you to fix that. Got it?"

Jonas looked uneasy. "Are you sure? I mean, if she hasn't told anyone, maybe she-"

Jack made a sound and held up his hand. "Canell. Missing time. Now. _Got_ it?"

Jonas' head drooped down. "Yes, sir."

He patted his shoulder. "Good man."

Jonas straightened himself up and went back over to Canell. "Hey, why don't the two of us head over to the library now? The others can catch up with us later."

"_That is a wonderful idea,_" Canell agreed. "_If you do not have time to reach the library, then you may just rejoin us at my home for dinner. Selmak and Anuck can show you to the guest quarters._"

"And if there's anything I can assist you with as well, let me know," Earin spoke up.

"_Earin, perhaps you would like to join us for dinner?_" Canell asked.

"I would be honored," Earin said. "It has been a while, hasn't it?"

"_Yes, and for that I apologize,_" Canell told him. "_Next week I will have everyone from this facility come over. It is just so hard to keep track of who I have entertained and when. _"

"You do not have to explain to me," Earin waved her off. "You are too good to us all."

Jack decided he'd really have to stop counting as another blush lit up her cheeks. (What was it with this woman? Or was it the snakehead? He didn't even know which one was doing most of the blushing anymore!)

Canell took Jonas by the arm. "_We will see all of you later._" She turned to Jonas. "_Now, to the library._"

And the two of them disappeared.

"Are we ready to continue now?" Earin asked.

"Yep."

((((())))))

"And this is the last room of the facility," Earin informed the group. "There's nothing else to see."

Sam swore she heard a muttered "thank god" coming from the colonel's direction, but decided to ignore it. "I'm sorry to see this end," she truthfully told Earin. "I could spend hours here."

"Carter, you just _did_," the colonel pointed out.

"I know, sir, but it was just an overview of the work being done," she explained. "All it did was give me a basic understanding of their technology. I'm going to need to study it a lot longer before I feel comfortable trying to explain it to my colleagues. It's all so new to me."

"It won't be for long," Earin assured her. "If you'd like, I will personally teach you everything you need to know."

She smiled at him. "Yes, I'd like that very much."

"How would you like to start tomorrow morning then?"

"You two setting up your next date already?" the colonel quipped.

Sam just glared at Colonel O'Neill. Most of the time, his sarcasm amused her, but something about this particular remark bothered her.

_Probably the dating reference,_ she decided.

Earin was a very nice guy, but fortunately, he had yet to show any interest in her outside of colleague, which she was grateful for. One less man to worry about.

"What would you like to see next?" Earin asked them. "Another lab facility, perhaps?"

"Uh, _no_," the colonel emphasized. "How about we just take a little walk through the city? Take in the sights? The sounds? You know, the whole tourist...thing."

"_But did Canell not already give us one?_" Anuck pointed out.

"Yeah, but maybe I'd like to take _another_ one," he stressed. "An unguided one, maybe?"

Sam knew exactly what he was getting at. After everything he'd seen, the colonel was still suspicious of the Spinrel. He wanted to do a recon of the city himself to see if he could find anything incriminating, like a few stray Jaffa or a Goa'uld weapon or two.

"Sir, if you'll be doing that, would it be all right if I stayed with Earin for a little while longer? That would give me a head start in my studies of the technology." _And it'll keep Earin busy while you poke your nose where you aren't supposed to._

Not that he'd find anything. The Spinrel were everything Dad and Anuck had said they were. The colonel was just being hardheaded, as usual.

"Sure thing, Carter," the colonel gave his permission. He turned to Teal'c. "T, you're with me."

"As you wish, O'Neill," Teal'c nodded.

"Dad? Anuck? Mind showing us the exit?" the colonel asked the Tok'ra.

"Come on, Jack," Dad sighed. "Sam, I'll see you later."

She smiled. "See you then."

Dad smiled back and gestured for the colonel to follow him.

"Major. Science gee-, um, guy," the colonel acknowledged as he headed out.

"Major Carter," was Teal'c's parting words.

Sam just shook her head. What a group she worked with!

Earin came up to her. "What would you like to go over first?"

"Hmm," Sam said thoughtfully as she returned her attention to the fascinating technology she was just barely beginning to understand.

((((())))))

"Yeah, yeah," Jack mumbled to himself as he listened to yet another merchant spout peace and love garbage when questioned about the destructive potential of a piece of equipment. He was getting sick and tired of not finding any evidence of deception. There had to be something, _anything!_ No world could be this perfect. It was impossible!

"Thank you for your time," Jacob told the man as he shot Jack yet another annoyed glare. "Let's go, Jack."

"Fine by me," Jack answered and followed him out the door. "So, where to next?"

"Perhaps it is time to be shown to our quarters," Teal'c suggested as they grouped outside the store.

"Tired already?" Jack teased.

"I do not yet require rest, O'Neill, but I believe you do," Teal'c informed him. "You do not appear to be thinking clearly."

"You mean sometimes I actually do?"

"Why can't you just accept that these people are exactly what they say they are?" Jacob questioned. "Not everyone is out to get us."

"This coming from a guy who spends most of his time in fear of being wiped out of existence," Jack retorted.

"_The threat presented by the System Lords is an established fact,_" Selmak surfaced. "_There has been no evidence of a threat of any kind from the Spinrel. Canell would never have freed them if she believed that they would be a danger to the rest of the galaxy._"

"Sure, back then they probably weren't," Jack agreed, "but who knows what a thousand years of being cooped up on a moon can do to a people? It's possible they all went a little wacky. I speak from experience. I _know._" (He still shuddered at the memory of his little adventure with Maybourne. It wasn't helping that everywhere he went in this place kept reminding him of it.)

Jacob sighed. "You're a stubborn one. I'll give you that."

"Darn tootin'!"

Jacob shook his head. "You never change, do you?"

"You love me. Admit it," Jack smirked.

"Your quarters are this way," Jacob finally gave in, signaling the end of the discussion. He started walking away, Anuck and Teal'c following him.

Jack stood where he was for a moment before taking off after them. He just couldn't accept that this place was as perfect as it appeared to be. His years of experience told him nothing ever could be. Every so-called "perfect" planet and/or society SG-1 met had some deep, dark secret that usually spelled trouble (mostly with a capital "G") for him and his team. Sure, there had been one or two exceptions, but those were the guys who thought Earthlings weren't ready to handle anything more advanced that a BB gun.

He didn't know what else he could do on his end to route out the hidden danger. He'd tried every trick he could think of. He'd brought up the topics of weapons and power in casual conversation. He'd poked around stores. He'd strolled up and down the streets. He'd even wheedled his way into a home or two, much to the two Tok'ra's chagrin. Other than bodily forcing the truth out of somebody, he had run out of options.

His only hope lay with Jonas. Both Teal'c and Carter had been lost to the "Spinrel-side". They both believed that these people were perfect angels. Especially Carter, since they had given her enough technododads to keep her happy for all eternity. (At this rate, she'd never want to leave!)

The thought of Carter staying stopped Jack in his tracks. Carter was the one who was always there. In fact, she was there more than he was! (Hey, it wasn't his fault that he kept getting stuck in those ridiculous situations that separated him from his team.) (Then again...) The idea of returning to Earth without her was beyond alien to him.

And it was for the simple reason that he, in his own words, cared about her a lot more than he was supposed to.

Samantha Carter had done what he had believed to be impossible after Charlie's death: she had taught him how to love again. She had burrowed deep into his supposedly hardened heart and taken permanent residence there.

Plain and simple, he loved her.

Not that he'd ever say anything to her, of course. There were those pesky regs to think about. But, pesky or not, those regs were designed to keep all military units running smoothly by eliminating all deeper-than-friendship feelings.

Supposedly.

He knew Carter cared about him too. Maybe not as much as he cared about her, but enough that she had gotten tagged a za'tarc because of it.

They had both admitted it that one time. That one day, in that one room. And then they had mutually decided to bury their feelings once again because to carry them outside of that room would have meant their careers.

Jack knew how important Carter's career was to her. (What other job paid a person to visit alien planets and study their technology? It was a scientist's dream come true.) Hell, it was just as important to him. Maybe more so. The Stargate program had saved his life.

Literally.

When he had walked through the gate that first time, he had been prepared (and hoping) to die. Charlie's death had all but consumed him. He hadn't wanted to go on. Not even Sara's love had been enough to shake him out of it.

In the end, it had taken the devotion of one boy and the friendship of an allergy-suffering, geeky archeologist to convince him that there was still plenty to live for. And then, a year later, he'd found himself part of a team that eventually became his family. And Carter was the one member of that family he wasn't willing to lose if he could help it.

Although they could never be more than friends, he wanted Carter to be a part of his life for as long as they both lived, in any way that she could be. He loved her _that_ much.

He'd give anything to just tell her...

Jack shook himself out of his reverie. He couldn't allow himself to become distracted by what could never be. He was here on a mission. His relationship, or rather lack thereof, with Carter would have to go back to its secret place deep in his heart. He had to focus on the problem at hand: finding whatever it was that the Spinrel were hiding. And that meant making sure Jonas grilled their hostess. (Or was that hostesses?)

He rushed to catch up with Jacob and the others.

((((())))))

Jonas finished the last sentence of the book and shook his head in awe. "Wow," he commented as he closed the cover. He looked up at Pymera. "That was... It was... Just...wow."

Pymera smiled brightly. "I knew you'd like it. Sanara's story is my favorite."

"I can see why," Jonas said. "She was such an amazing woman. What she was able to accomplish despite her circumstances. Wow."

Pymera giggled. "Is that your favorite word?"

He laughed. "No, but maybe it should be. I'm sure saying it a lot."

"Do not feel bad. I was the same way when I first read the book as a little girl." Her grin widened. "To tell you the truth, I _still_ feel the same whenever I read it."

"What's Canell think of it?"

"_I am the one who introduced her to it,_" Canell proudly pointed out. "_It has always been my favorite too._"

"It sounds like the two of you go way back," he said.

"_We do,_" Canell agreed. "_I have had the privilege of knowing Pymera from the time she was born. She is one of the sweetest people I have ever known._"

"Yeah," Jonas smiled, "she is."

While he had found Sanara to be an amazing woman, even she couldn't hold a candle next to Pymera, who was the sweetest, kindest, most wonderful person he had ever met.

And the prettiest...

"Oh, stop it you two," Pymera jumped in. "I'm no better than anyone else." Her eyes closed as she and Canell continued to converse telepathically.

Jonas watched them (or was that her? Dr. Jackson's notes had never been too clear on whether or not a blended Tok'ra was considered one or two people) in utter fascination. He'd been around enough Tok'ra to have seen the phenomenon before, but never in the way that it was being used here. The silent conversations he'd witnessed in the past had involved passing on vital information for the mission he had been on at the time. The one happening in front of his eyes was purely personal, if the growing smile on Pymera's face was any indication.

A warm feeling coursed through his body as he looked on in wonder. There was just something about Pymera that made him feel so _good_ inside. He enjoyed being with her, which was something he had never experienced with anyone, except for maybe Dr. Kieran. Yet, this was...different. _Very_ different. And he found that he liked it.

A lot.

Pymera shook her head and opened her eyes. "Canell hates to take no for an answer. The more someone protests, the more vocal she becomes."

"Especially when she's right?" Jonas teased her.

Pymera folded her arms. "It's bad enough having to live with Canell's exaggerations day in and day out. Please don't make it any worse."

"Why not? I'm sure it's all true."

Pymera blushed furiously. "Jonas..."

He liked the way she spoke his name. "See? If it wasn't true, you wouldn't be so embarrassed to hear it."

She held up a hand. "Enough of this. I brought you here to study our history. So, let's continue, shall we?" She slid the momentarily forgotten book away from Jonas and stood up from her seat. "There's another one that I just know you'll love."

He smiled at the evasion. "You haven't been wrong yet."

She made a sound. "What did I tell you about that?"

"Sorry," he grinned.

Pymera mumbled something as she returned the book to the shelf and began rummaging for her next selection.

Jonas just watched her. Everything about her was so fascinating, even the way she went about ordinary tasks. No one this wonderful could be hiding anything. Colonel O'Neill was completely wrong about her.

And he was wrong especially wrong about Canell. She was every inch the Tok'ra she said she was. He had enjoyed her company almost as much as Pymera's. (And if she was so bad, why were she and Pymera, who was so gentle natured, so close?) She didn't fit the profile of any power-hungry Goa'uld he'd ever met.

But he knew the colonel wasn't going to take his word for it. He needed solid proof of her honesty. And the best way to get that was to hear her story, which was what the colonel had ordered him to get in the first place.

He opened his mouth to ask her then shut it again as he realized how rude it would be to bluntly question her about something she didn't appear to want to talk about. She probably had a very good reason of keeping it a secret since she was open and honest about everything he'd asked her about so far. (Even some really dumb questions.) And she had chosen not to share it with the other Tok'ra when they had found her alive after a thousand years either. That in itself spoke volumes.

_It must have been bad,_ he decided.

"Jonas?" Pymera's voice softly questioned.

He turned to see that she had returned to her place next to him while he was silently disobeying his commanding officer. "You find the book?"

"Yes, but are you all right?" she answered with a query of her own.

"I'm fine," he told her. "So, what's this one about?" he tried to change the subject.

"Are you sure?" Pymera pressed. "You suddenly don't look well. Maybe we should stop for today."

"No, I'm fine. Really," he protested. "A little tired and hungry, maybe, but otherwise fine."

"_How about a small break then?_" Canell offered. "_There is a quiet cafe not far from here. We can both get something to eat._"

Jonas couldn't help but smile at her thoughtfulness. (Yet more proof that she was not some power-hungry maniac out to destroy Earth.) "That sounds great."

"Wonderful," Pymera reemerged and stood up from the table. "It'll only take a few minutes to walk there."

"Lead the way," Jonas said, knowing in his heart of hearts that he had made the right decision by not asking her the question.

((((())))))

Sam turned the small mechanism over and over in her hands, studying it intently. There was no way it could be powered by what he claimed it was. It had to be a mistake. Cold fusion was just a theory. Not a single culture she had encountered over the past seven years had achieved it.

"Why do you find it so shocking?" Earin asked her, sounding amused at her disbelief. "Nothing else I've shown you has been hard to accept. Why this?"

"Well, for starters, this unit is so small," she pointed out. "How can anything this tiny generate the necessary power to fuse atoms? Or even have the necessary storage capacity?"

He gave a small laugh. "Ah, it seems that our technology has finally stumped you. I never thought I'd see this happen."

"Hey, I never said I was perfect," she informed him, putting the mechanism down.

His smile suddenly turned softer. "You didn't have to."

"Excuse me?"

"I believe that you are perfect, Sam," Earin told her in a matter-of-fact way.

"What?!" _Oh, no! Please don't be what I think this is! Please!_

He continued smiling at her. "You are the most perfect woman I have ever met."

_Oh, great!_ He _liked_ her? When had this happened? She had been with him all day and hadn't seen a single indication that he saw her as more than a colleague. Why hadn't she seen the signs?

_Because I've been too busy trying to absorb all this information,_ she silently groaned. _Great. Just great!_

"I have felt this way since I first laid eyes on you," he continued, unaware of her internal conflict.

"Earin..." she protested. She had to put an end to this before it went too far. She had to squash any romantic feelings he had developed for her before they put his life in danger.

"These past few hours that I've spent alone with you have been so wonderful," he went on. "I hope that we can-"

"Earin," she firmly interrupted, holding up a hand. "Stop. Please."

"But why?" he wanted to know. "I am just trying to tell you how I feel. Do the Tau'ri not have similar practices between people who are attracted to each other?"

_Only when military regulations don't prevent them._ "Yes, but-"

"So you understand what I'm proposing to you?"

"Of course, but-"

"Then what is the problem? Do you not find me to be an enjoyable companion?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then there should be no problem," Earin proclaimed. "You said it yourself. You like being with me."

"But not in the way you're suggesting," she corrected him. "I like you as a friend and colleague. You're a very nice man, Earin, but I'm not attracted to you."

He looked surprised. "You're not?"

"No, I'm not," she informed him, now slightly amused by his assumption. What ever had put such a crazy idea in his head? "What made you think I was?"

"I don't understand," Earin said, sounding very confused. "Attraction is always mutual. _Always!_"

Sam couldn't help herself. She laughed. "It doesn't always work that way. Romances are often entirely one-sided."

"Not here," he declared. "When a person feels attracted to someone, the other is always attracted back. This is a known fact. It has been scientifically proven!"

Sam felt all her anxiety melt away. Discouraging Earin was going to be easier than she'd thought. "Maybe when both people are from Spinrel," she pointed out. "I'm not, remember?"

"How could I forget? Yours is a beauty unlike any I've ever seen."

_Oh boy!_ "Look, I may not be attracted to you but I still like you as a friend. Can't we just be friends?"

He seemed to think about it. "I guess," he finally decided, "but will you admit that it's possible that you could become attracted to me in the future?"

She laughed again. "Anything's possible, but don't get your hopes up, okay? Now," she said, changing the subject and taking the forgotten mechanism back into her hands, "I want you to tell me all about cold fusion."

((((())))))

"Mmm!" Jonas managed around the spoonful of cyacina fruit. "This is wonderful!"

Pymera giggled. "Slow down! You'll make yourself sick!"

"I can't help it," he told her after he had swallowed. "This is the best fruit I've ever had!"

She shook her head. "I take it you eat a lot of fruit then?"

"Oh, yeah," he grinned. "Best stuff on Earth."

"I'll have to try some when I visit sometime," she decided.

That took Jonas by surprise. "Visit? Really?"

"Of course," she informed him. "It would be rather impolite to form an alliance with a world and then never set foot on it, don't you think?"

"Yeah," he agreed. "It does make sense, doesn't it?"

"I've always wanted to visit other worlds," she said wistfully. "But Canell had forbidden any of us from ever leaving."

"_Only for their own safety,_" Canell interjected. "_Pymera knows that as well as anyone. Don't you?_"

"Of course," Pymera agreed as Canell handed control back over to her. "Canell saved us all," she told Jonas. "She would never do anything to harm us."

"I don't think she would either," Jonas nodded in agreement. _Now if only I could convince the colonel to think the same._ "I believe she only wants the best for all of you."

"_Thank you,_" Canell smiled. "_The Spinrel have been my people for a long time now. To harm them would be harming myself._"

"You're a good soul, Canell," he told her. "Anyone can see that."

"_Thank you,_" she repeated.

"Not everyone," Pymera interjected. "Jack doesn't seem to like her. Or me for that matter."

The sudden remark took Jonas by surprise. "Not like you? What would make you think something like that?" _Stupid question, Jonas. Real stupid._

He knew _exactly_ what would make them think something like that. The colonel hadn't exactly been friendly or warm to either the host or the symbiote. But, as Jonas well knew from experience, the colonel was like that with _everyone_ when he first met them. It had taken him a long time to figure that out for himself.

"He does not seem very happy when we are around," Pymera explained. "Canell and I were wondering if we had done something to offend him."

"No, 'course not," Jonas told her, scanning his brain for a good reason. He couldn't tell them the truth, that the colonel thought Canell was just another power-mad Goa'uld. Finally, his mind settled on the most obvious and least suspicious excuse.

"Colonel O'Neill is uncomfortable around the Tok'ra." There. It was completely true and didn't offend anyone in particular.

"He is? Why is that?"

"It has to do with the fact that they're two beings in one body," he went on, feeling rather proud of his cover. "It's too similar to the Goa'uld for him." _Think!_ "Um, he doesn't quite believe that the host has free will."

"But we do!" Pymera exclaimed. "Surely he has been around enough of our kind to know it by now."

Jonas mentally smirked. Oh, yeah, he was doing good! "Yeah, but he had a bad blending experience that kind of made him wary of the whole process."

"_He was blended?_" Canell asked. "_When? And why is he no longer?_"

"It's kind of a long story, but he only agreed to be blended because it was the only way to save his life. He'd been exposed to an ancient disease and the only person who could have cured him died before she could help him. Like I said, long story. Anyway, there was a symbiote who needed a host and he agreed to let it cure him.

"The symbiote, Kanan, however, had unfinished business from before he lost his host and hijacked the colonel's body to go finish it. Then, when he got caught returning to the planet, Kanan fled his body and left the colonel to be captured and tortured." Jonas paused, inwardly cringing at the horrified expression on the face before him, not knowing whether it was host, symbiote, or both. "The colonel was in real bad shape by the time he escaped. He barely survived the experience. And, because of it, he's now wary of all Tok'ra in general."

"_It is no wonder,_" Canell breathed. "_The poor man._"

"So it's not a personal dislike," Jonas continued. "And I don't think dislike is even the right word. Um, it's more like he doesn't...doesn't _trust_ you guys." This was going really well. He'd taken the focus of the colonel's dislike/distrust off of them and put it on their people in general so they wouldn't feel so bad about it.

"And trust is a big thing with the colonel," he continued, widening the focus even more. "He doesn't trust _anybody_ when he first meets them. They've gotta earn his trust. And that can take a real long time. I mean, take me for example. You would not believe how long it took him to trust me." Putting a grin on his face, he leaned across the table and motioned for her to do the same. In a conspiratorial tone, he whispered, "Don't tell anyone, but I think he's starting to really like me now, too."

Pymera looked shocked. "How can anyone not like you?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised," he informed her, sitting back up.

"Try me."

"Well, for starters, I betrayed my own people," he informed her.

"I'm sure you had a very good reason," she asserted.

"Yeah," he agreed, "and they forgave me later on, so I guess it's okay now."

"You see?" Pymera smiled for the first time since he told the story of the colonel's botched blending. "Even they still like you. Let me hear another."

"Okay. Hmm." He thought of all his adventures since coming to Earth and then the most obvious thing of all struck him. "The Goa'uld!" he declared.

Pymera laughed out loud. "They do not count! They don't like anyone!"

Jonas pretended to ponder that. "Hmm, I think you're right."

"Oh, Jonas!" she continued, gasping for breath.

He grinned. He'd never had this much fun with anyone. And to think he'd almost ruined everything by following the colonel's orders.

Pymera finally brought her laughter under control. "Now, we've gotten off the subject. We were talking about Jack. How can I earn his trust?"

"Why is it so important to you?" There was only one way for her to get that trust and he didn't want to force her to do it if he could help it.

"_It is because we are forming an alliance with your people. Jack is one of the first Tau'ri we have ever met. If he, you, and the others return to your world with any doubt of my trustworthiness, everything could fall apart. I strongly believe this alliance is the only hope of ever defeating the System Lords. I can't risk losing that hope._"

Jonas didn't know how to respond. Canell was really upset about the colonel's distrust of her as was Pymera. And both of them believed the colonel was the key to the alliance's success, which wasn't true at all. Yes, the colonel was well-respected and listened to at the SGC, but he was also known for his overcautiousness and skepticism. He'd been overruled many times by General Hammond and others.

"_What can I do to earn his trust,_" Canell asked again.

Jonas was at a loss for what to do. There was only one way for her to earn the colonel's trust, but he wasn't willing to ask her to do that. He stood by his belief that she did not want to talk about her past for a reason.

"Jonas?" Pymera surfaced after a few moments in silence, concern in her voice. "Why are you so quiet? Why won't you answer us?"

He looked down. "Because I know what will make the colonel trust you," he finally admitted. He couldn't put it off any longer. He was trapped and had no way out of it.

"Tell us," Pymera urged.

He took a deep breath and met her gaze. "The colonel wants to know why Canell lost all contact with the Tok'ra."

"Oh," was the quiet reply. And then Pymera's eyes fell shut as a silent conversation began.

He felt awful as he watched them. He'd done the one thing he hadn't wanted to do. He'd crossed the line into personal territory, the one place he should never have gone without invitation. He wouldn't be surprised if neither of them ever talked to him again.

Finally, Pymera's eyes reopened. Without saying a word, she pushed her chair away from the table and stood up. "I-I have to go now."

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I should never have brought that up."

She gave him a small smile. "Don't be sorry. It's my fault. I asked the question and you gave me the only answer you could."

"I upset her badly, didn't I?"

Pymera nodded. "That was a very bad time for her. It's painful for her to even think about it." A sad expression took over her face. "She's shut herself off from me. She said she needed to be alone for a little while."

"I'm so sorry."

"I need to go someplace quiet now," she explained. "Someplace where I can be ready for Canell when she wants to talk."

"I understand," he told her.

"What will you do?" she asked him.

"I'll go back to the library and read some more. Might as well learn as much as I can while I'm here, right?"

"Right." She smiled again. "I'll meet you there about an hour before dinner so I can show you to your quarters."

"Pymera, I'm so sorry," he apologized again. He couldn't help himself. He just felt so terrible.

"We'll be all right," she promised. "See you later?"

"See you later," he echoed with a forced smile.

And then she left the cafe, leaving Jonas alone with his guilt.

((((())))))

_This just isn't my day,_ Jack silently complained as he wandered through one of Goapeith's many parks. He'd "escaped" his guest quarters to scour the city one last time before throwing in the towel. And, as before, he was pretty much convinced that all hope of revelation lay with Jonas.

The Spinrel were the most annoyingly perfect and happy people he'd ever met. Their hospitality and trust were driving him bonkers. (If only that could be enough of a reason to call off all negotiations!) He couldn't wait to go home, possibly with evidence of Miss Snaky's evilness.

Well, maybe "evilness" was too strong a term. The more and more time he spent here, the less and less convinced he became that Canell and her buddies were out to conquer anybody. Canell herself was a Miss Goody-Two-Shoes and the people were way too naïve about life in general. None of them could even take over a high school classroom!

However, something was still rotten in the state of Denmark and he was determined to find out what it was. And "it" was Canell's deep, dark secret. The missing time she had yet to account for.

Why hadn't she told her fellow snakeheads what happened when they found her? Better yet, why had she stayed with the Spinrel instead of rejoining the Tok'ra in the first place? What was she hiding? And what did it mean for the possible alliance with Earth?

Well, he'd know soon enough. Jonas had been ordered to get the story out of her and Jonas never disobeyed an order (unlike some other people he knew). (And, no, he didn't mean himself!)

Ah, yes. Jonas.

If Canell was Miss Goody-Two-Shoes, then Jonas was Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes or whatever the male version was called. (It was no wonder they were going all ga-ga over each other. They were a match made in heaven!) In fact, he was probably worse than she was. He made Mother Teresa look like an old-time sinner!

Jonas was on a mission to "make a difference." He was obsessed about doing the right thing and all that jazz. Ever since he was made aware that his people were doing bad things, he wanted to do the complete opposite and try to achieve as much good as possible. (In fact, if left to his own devices, Jack suspected he'd probably try to save the entire universe!) It was as if he felt that he and only he alone could atone for all the wrongdoing that had ever been done. A nice guy, more than a little deluded, but a nice guy.

Although he'd never admit it out loud, Jonas had really grown on him. Sure he'd found his enthusiasm and general "upness" annoying in the beginning and, to an extent, still did, but he couldn't help but like the guy. Jonas was just too nice _not_ to like. But, he'd never let anyone know. Especially Jonas himself. He had an image to maintain, you know!

Ahead of him, he saw what looked like a local bench and decided to take a break. (Hey, he was entitled!) He'd been hard at work all day and hard work deserved to be rewarded. (Especially thankless hard work.)

"Colonel!" he heard a very familiar female voice call.

He turned towards the sound and saw Carter and her science buddy (whatever his name was) walking over.

"Hey," he called back as he continued towards the bench. "Tired of your new toys already?" he teased Carter as he plopped down.

"It's a lot to absorb in one day," she told him. "I needed a break."

"A break? You? Nah!"

She grinned. "What can I say? My old age is catching up with me."

"Sam has done extremely well," Mr. Science Guy (Jack had always been bad with names) said. "Her mind is extraordinary."

_You can say that again._

"I wouldn't go that far," Carter waved him off, "but thank you."

Mr. Science Guy smiled brightly. "You are so welcome."

_And here we go again._ Carter had succeeded in snaring herself yet another local Romeo. Being in love with her himself, he knew exactly what drew man after man to Carter. She was both beautiful and smart as well as big-hearted. What man in his right mind _wouldn't_ fall for her?

Sadly, none of these romances seemed to last very long for her. The guy either turned out to be bad or expired. (Sometimes both!) Which was too bad because if anyone deserved a lot of happiness, it was Carter.

As much as he wanted her for himself, Jack knew that as long as they both served on SG-1 they were not allowed to be together. (And, did she even want to be together with him anyway?) So, he was happy for her whenever he saw her find a little bit of romance with a seemingly nice guy. (That didn't mean he wasn't jealous of said guy, but what could he do? Destroy both his and Carter's careers?)

"So, are you ready for my briefing now, sir?" Carter suddenly asked.

"Briefing?" What briefing? There was a briefing?

"My briefing about what I've learned so far," she told him. "You said you wanted to hear everything."

"I did?" Okay, something really strange was going on here. Carter knew he was bored out of his mind by scientific things. (Which had yet to stop her from telling him about them.) But for her to say that he had specifically _asked_ to be told about them? Had she been drinking some local concoction that addled her brain?

"Yes, you _did,_" she informed him, with a strange look on her face. "Before we came through the Stargate."

"Really?" He didn't remember doing anything of the sort. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, sir. I'm sure." She stared at him.

_Ohhhh._ It suddenly dawned on him what she was doing. She was trying to get him to say that he needed her. Obviously, the local Romeo was, for once, not her type and she was trying to escape.

"Oh, wait. _Now_ I remember," he announced. "D'oh! I guess you're not the only one nearing old fartdom."

A relieved smile spread across her face. "Thank you," she mouthed silently.

"So, um, you there," Jack directed at Mr. Science Guy, "the major and I have business to discuss."

"I do not mind," Mr. Science Guy cluelessly replied. "Take your time."

"Earin," Carter revealed his name, "this is going to take a while. Why don't you go on and I'll see you at dinner?"

"I really don't mind waiting," Earin cheerfully answered.

"How's this? _I_ mind," Jack interjected. "So, shoo. Go on. Vamoose. Follow the yellow brick road."

"Sam?" Earin pleaded.

"You'll be bored," she tried. "I won't be going into any details with the colonel."

"Science is bad for my brain," Jack added helpfully.

Earin frowned. "But I am afraid that if I go away, you'll lose any attraction you may have developed for me."

Carter sighed heavily, sending Jack an "I'll tell you later" look. "Earin. There still isn't any and, I hate to tell you this, but there's never going to be."

"Not even a little?"

"Sorry," she apologized. "There's nothing there except friendship."

"Oh," Earin sagged. He then straightened up. "Perhaps a break will be the best thing then," he decided. "It'll give you a chance to miss me and maybe notice the attraction you're denying."

_Oh, brother!_ Did this guy have it bad for her or what? Carter had some gift.

"Bye-bye," Jack said, giving him a little wave.

"See you later, Earin," Sam sighed again.

The lovelorn scientist gave them both a little nod and then went on his merry way.

When he was out of earshot, Jack said, "Too much man for you to handle?"

She shook her head. "I don't even want to talk about it."

"Has he been like this the whole time?"

"No, thankfully," she told him. "It started about three hours ago."

"What can I say? You have a way with men."

But instead of the grin he expected, she gave him a look that took him by complete surprise.

It was a sad look.

_Huh?_ Where had this come from? "Carter? Are you okay?"

He thought that she had been over whatever it was that had seemed to have been bothering her that morning. She'd bee acting fine ever since they arrived, convincing him that she'd told him the truth about just being tired. But now, here it was again. Something was definitely wrong.

"Yeah," she waved him off. "Just a little too much Earin, that's all."

"That's all?" he echoed. "You mean you're not just 'tired' like you were this morning?" What was going on with her? Why was she putting on this "I'm fine" act when she obviously wasn't?

Her expression changed. "Just what are you getting at, sir?"

"Something's bothering you, Carter, and I mean _really_ bothering you," he told her. "You're not yourself today."

"It's nothing," she answered. "Really."

"Nope. I'm not buying it. It's not nothing," he insisted. "Come on, Sam. You know you can tell me anything." He used her name in the hopes that it would convince her that she could open up to him.

"With all due respect, _sir,_ there's nothing to tell. I'm fine."

_Sir._ That was typical Carter, trying to hide behind military formality. It was her coping mechanism for when things got too hot under the collar. Well, two could play at that game.

"All right, _Major,_ then I order you to tell me what's up," Jack smugly threw back at her. _There, try to avoid answering me now._

She fell completely silent, the sadness radiating from her. After a few moments, she said, "It's personal. Please don't make me say more than that. Please."

Her response was unexpected. She always gave into him, especially when he made it an order. Whatever was wrong, it was bad.

"Sam," he tried again, gently this time," I'm worried about you."

She gave him a tiny smile at last. "I know. And I appreciate it.

"A lot."

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Because I can't. Please try to understand."

"Sorry, but I'm not that good at understanding something that hasn't been explained to me," he informed her. "Help me understand."

The sadness once again dominated her face. "This isn't something anyone _can_ understand. I'm alone in this."

"You don't have to be."

Their eyes met, Jack holding her gaze and willing her to open up to him. He hated seeing her like this. This wasn't the Carter he fell in love with and he wanted her back. What was wrong?

Finally, she broke the contact. "Yes, I do," she said very softly. "I'm sorry."

He was at a loss for what to do or say next. When she was deadset against something, nothing short of an act of God could change her mind. Carter was as stubborn as he was.

Which was yet another thing he loved about her.

"All right. You win. I give up," he told her, resigned to the fact that the discussion was now over.

"Thank you," she replied with another tiny smile.

He decided it would be best to change the subject. "So, wanna see where we're staying?" he asked.

"That would be helpful," she said, a note of relief evident in her voice. "I'm going to need to change before dinner."

"What for? You look positively radiant in your BDUs."

Carter just shook her head, the smile still there.

_At least she's enjoying my humor again,_ Jack thought. _That's a good sign if I ever did see one._ "Follow me, Major. Your palace awaits."

He started walking and she fell into step next to him, just like always. She was back to normal for the time being, but there was no telling how long it would last this time. Whatever was bothering her hadn't gone away but he saw no point in pressing on with his questioning if she wasn't going to fess up.

However, this was far from over. He _was_ going to find out what Carter's problem was.

One way or the other.

((((())))))

Jonas was scanning the bookshelves for another book to read when he heard the door to the library open. He turned to see who it was.

"Uh, hi," he greeted his visitor, whom he was both shocked and relieved to see. It was Pymera and Canell, though he doubted Canell would say anything to him so soon after the incident. "How's Canell?"

"_I am fine,_" Canell answered, surprising him. "_Do you mind if we come in?_"

"No, not at all," he encouraged her, feeling more relieved than ever now. If Canell was talking to him, that meant she wasn't too upset anymore. "I was just, uh, looking for another book to read. I just finished one."

Canell entered the library, closing the door behind her.

"Which one was it?" Pymera surfaced.

"Haoyan's," he told her. "He seemed very likeable."

"Yes," Pymera nodded, "Canell and I always thought so too." She slowly came over to him and took his hand, a gesture that started his heart racing. "Come and sit with us. We need to talk."

"Sure," he managed. (The feel of her hand in his was amazing!) "What about?"

"_My past,_" Canell announced.

"Your... Are you sure?" Jonas questioned, quickly banishing all thoughts of his feelings for Pymera. Canell needed his full attention. "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to."

"_I want to,_" she assured him. "_Pymera told me that if anyone deserved to hear about my shame, it was you._"

His eyes widened. "Shame? What are you talking about?"

She led him back to the table, where they both took a seat.

"_I did something so terrible that it is difficult even now to think about it,_" she began. "_Living with the guilt is worse than any punishment I could have been given._"

He wondered what she could have possibly done to feel so guilty and ashamed. Canell didn't seem the type that would have either problem. She was so nice and had freed an entire people from a Goa'uld. (Plus Pymera was her closest friend, which spoke volumes about her.) _She's probably just overreacting to some minor transgression or something,_ he decided. "What did you do?"

She looked down. "_I willingly left my host to die._"

"You what?" he breathed, not believing what he was hearing. No Tok'ra would do such a terrible and Goa'uld-like thing. It was unheard of.

Unless, of course, there was a good reason. And, knowing Canell, there probably had been a good reason. "Why?"

Canell was silent for a few moments, still not meeting his gaze. "_I am sure you were told that I was on an undercover mission when I disappeared. Were you told what that mission was?_"

He nodded and then realized she still wasn't looking at him. "Yes. You were supposed to pass along to the Tok'ra all the false intelligence Hera was giving to the System Lords."

"_Correct. And in order to gather the intelligence, my host Jenil and I needed to be as close as possible to Hera at all times. So we posed as a domestic slave within her palace. That was the best way for us to follow her without arousing any suspicion. No one ever pays attention to maids, right?_"

"Right," Jonas agreed.

Canell finally raised her face. "_Our assumed name was 'Niran' and our story was that we had been raised on that world and groomed for that position since childhood. No one questioned our sudden appearance and we easily gained access to Hera's inner sanctum. Hera, it seemed, enjoyed company. _

"_However, Hera's idea of 'company' was someone she could complain and vent to. 'Niran' fit that role perfectly. She was a pathetic slave who trembled in fear of her god, which only encouraged Hera to rant even more. And the more afraid we acted, the more Hera ranted and the more she unwittingly revealed. Our strange 'relationship' with her lasted for five years. We were very lucky..._" She trailed off and dropped her head again. "_If only I had left things alone..._"

"What happened?" Jonas questioned, still not seeing how she was guilty of anything.

She looked up again, a small sad smile on her face. "_'Niran' corrected her god. It was a complete accident yet one that cost my dear friend her life. _

"_You see, as part of our ignorant slave persona, we would ask Hera to explain things she had ranted about to us. We pretended we didn't understand anything and ended up with the most detailed intelligence any Tok'ra agent had ever retrieved from a Goa'uld. It was more than we had ever hoped for when we volunteered for the assignment._" She stopped and looked away once more. "_And then I had to ruin everything._"

"But you just said it was an accident," Jonas pointed out. "You didn't do it on purpose. I'm sure Jenil knew that."

She smiled at him. "_That's the problem. She did._"

"So why-"

She held up a hand. "_Let me finish. On that particular day, Hera, who was a little scatterbrained to begin with, couldn't remember the name of a particular System Lord. So, unthinkingly, I had Jenil tell her. _

"_Hera immediately flew into a rage. How dare a mere slave question her god? She immediately sentenced us to death and had us thrown into prison._"

Jonas' mouth dropped open. He couldn't believe it. To be sentenced to death for something that-that minor! It was just more proof of how horrible the Goa'uld were.

One mystery had been solved. He now knew why she had lost contact with the Tok'ra. Now the only secret that remained was the cause of her guilt over Jenil's death. He still wasn't convinced that Canell had purposely abandoned her like she claimed.

"How did you escape?" he asked her.

"_Jenil and I had befriended another slave during our years in Hera's service. Her name was Marina. She knew nothing about our identity or mission, but she shared our passion for freeing all people from the clutches of the Goa'uld. She dreamed of the day that she would escape and make all the System Lords pay for their cruelty. She had been taken from her home world as a child to serve in the palace. _

"_She was from Spinrel._"

"Ah." Understanding dawned on him. "She became your host, didn't she?"

"_Yes,_" Canell nodded. "_When she learned what had happened to us, she came to visit us in our prison. She was furious at what Hera had done and told us that she had had it. She'd lost too many friends over the years to Hera's rage and was not going to let it happen again, especially not when she had finally found someone who shared her dreams. She declared that she would free us and that we would escape together and wage a war against the System Lords. _

"_Of course, Jenil and I knew how impossible it was and tried to talk her out of it. But Marina wouldn't listen. She was determined to get us out of there._" Tears appeared in her eyes. "_And that's when Jenil decided to tell her who we really were. _

"_When Marina learned that 'Niran' was not one but two separate individuals, she became even more deadset on rescuing us. There was no possible way that she would let either of us die and the resistance lose our strength. Even I couldn't talk her out of it. _

"_So Jenil took matters into her own hands._"

Suddenly, Jonas realized what had happened to Jenil. "It was her idea, wasn't it?"

She nodded, the tears freely falling now. "_She said it was the only way. I didn't want to leave her. It was my fault she had been sentenced to death. It was only right that I share her fate. But she wouldn't hear it. She said that I had a duty to the rest of my kind. She was just the host, but I was the Tok'ra. _

"_I begged her to reconsidered, but she would have none of it. Even Marina agreed that it was the only way, even if she was afraid of what would happen to her if I blended with her._" She took a deep breath. "_Jenil stopped talking to me until I gave into her. It was the cruelest thing she had ever done. I felt so alone and helpless without her comforting presence. _

"_In the end I gave in only so I could hear her again._"

With that, Canell broke down and began sobbing.

Jonas did the only thing he could think of. He gathered her into his arms and held her against him.

"It wasn't your fault," he soothed. "You had no choice. Jenil made up her mind. There was nothing you could have done."

The sobbing almost instantly subsided and he felt her pulling away from him.

"She's shut herself away from me again," Pymera quietly told him, wiping away the tears Canell had shed.

"I'm sorry," Jonas apologized. "This is all my fault."

"Now you know the burden Canell has carried with her for centuries," she said. "This is the reason why she stayed with my people instead of returning to her own. She feels that she betrayed them by allowing her host to stay behind and die."

"But she had no choice," Jonas repeated. "Jenil wouldn't let her stay."

"I know. And, deep down, I think Canell knows too. But she refuses to believe it. She'd rather continue living with her guilt. She thinks she deserves to be punished."

"I think she'd had more than enough punishment for one lifetime," Jonas told her. "I wish there was a way to help her move past it."

"I don't think there is. But I know that if the alliance with the Tau'ri is formed, it'll be a large step in the right direction. It'll make her feel like a true Tok'ra again."

"We're going to have to tell Colonel O'Neill what happened to her. You know that, don't you?"

Pymera nodded. "As you said, it's the only way he'll trust us."

"This alliance is going to happen," he said, taking both of her hands in his.

"I promise."

((((())))))

Sam was sitting on her bed, typing up her report, when there was a knock on her door.

"Just a minute," she called, saving her document and switching her laptop into sleep mode.

She got to her feet and crossed the room. The door had no peep hole, so she couldn't see who it was in advance.

_Please don't be who I think it is._

Taking a deep breath, she pulled the door open.

"Hi, Dad," she smiled with relief as she saw who was on the other side.

"Hey, Sam," he smiled back. "I just wanted to come by and see how you were."

"I'm great," she told him, meaning it. The past couple of hours of solitude had worked wonders. No Earin asking her if she was attracted to him yet. No Colonel O'Neill worrying about her... "Come on in."

"Thanks," he said, entering the room. He looked around. "I can say this about these people. They really know how to treat their guests."

Sam laughed. "The Spinrel just seem to be very generous by nature. Earth will benefit in more ways than just technology if this alliance goes through. I mean, look what was waiting for me when I got here." She gestured towards the chair where she had put the dress that she had found laid out on her bed.

"I think most planets could learn a thing or two from them," he commented. "Too bad the Goa'uld didn't."

"No, but I'm sure their friendliness is what got them enslaved in the first place," Sam said. She walked over to the chair and held up the dress. "If Hera is half as bad at being a System Lord as she sounds, it's probably the only reason she was able to take them."

"Yes," he nodded in agreement. "That's basically the gist we've gotten from their books. Have you even tried it on yet?" he indicated the dress.

"Not yet," she confessed. "I've been working on my mission report."

Dad shook his head. "All work and no play. That's my little girl."

"Dad," she groaned, putting the dress down. "We went through this this morning. Besides, I'm here to do a job. Someone needs to have a grasp on the technology we'll be acquiring before we begin to study it."

"It doesn't always have to be you, you know," he pointed out.

"Um, last time I checked I was the only Ph.D. on SG-1," she told him. "Don't start in on me again, Dad. I told you this morning and I'm telling you again now. I'm fine."

"That's not what I heard."

"What?" She stared at him in shock. "What are you talking about?"

"Jack has expressed-"

"_Colonel O'Neill_ should learn to mind his own business," she cut him off.

She couldn't believe it. The nerve of him! Because he couldn't get an answer from her, he'd gone to her _father_?! As much as she loved him, sometimes the man just infuriated her!

"He's just worried about you, Sam."

"I know, Dad," she said, "but that doesn't give him the right to pry into my private life, especially like this. This was low, even for him."

"Just hear me out, okay?" He sat down in the nearest chair. "Both Jack and I are concerned about you. We've both noticed that something's not right with you. If you have a problem, I want to know about it. I'm your father. I'm here for you, Sweetheart. No matter what it is."

_You only say that because you don't know._

She turned from him and walked away. She couldn't tell him what was bothering her. Not only would he think she was crazy, but he'd insist that she see a therapist. (Her one experience during Orlin's time with her had been bad enough.) As she had told the colonel, she was alone in this.

"Sam, talk to me."

She took a deep breath and turned to face him. "I can't. I'm sorry, but I just can't. Try to understand."

"That's exactly what Jack said you told him," he replied. "What am I supposed to understand? What's going on?"

"Dad, I..." She wished she could tell him, but he'd never believe her. No one would despite the large amount of evidence she had gathered. To people like her father, curses were the stuff of myths, legends, and children's stories.

He rose to his feet and came over to her. "Tell me, Honey." He gently took both of her arms into his hands. "Talk to me."

She shook her head. "I can't."

"Sam..."

"Really, Dad, I can't. It's...private."

"Private as in?"

"Private," she reiterated.

"Private even from your own father, I see," he sighed, releasing her. "You're just like your mother, you know that?"

"Funny. She always said I was just like you." She smiled. "Don't worry about me. Except for this one thing, I'm fine. Honest."

"I love you, Kiddo," he said pulling her into a hug. "Don't you forget that. And if you change your mind, I'll be right here."

"Thanks Dad," she hugged him back. "I love you too."

"Now," he said, separating from her, "what am I going to tell Jack?"

She grinned. "Tell him that's he's got a big mouth."

"I think he'll take that as a compliment."

"You're probably right," she agreed. "Seriously, just tell him the truth. That this is a personal private matter and I'll deal with it. And thank him for his concern."

He shook his head. "It's such a shame you two have those regs to worry about."

"Dad," she admonished him. _Those regs are a godsend._

Without them, the colonel would be yet another casualty of her fatal curse.

"Well, I guess I'll head back and give the colonel my report," Dad smiled at her. "I'll be back in a couple of hours. I expect to see you wearing your gift."

"Yes, Dad."

He gave her a quick hug. "See you later, Kid."

"See you."

Sam walked him to the door and saw him out, hugging him again. Once he was gone, she closed the door and leaned against it, sighing.

The two most important men in her life knew something was bothering her and were determined to find out what it was. In fact, they'd even teamed up to do so. (Which was very touching when she thought about it.) Both were stubborn, persistent, and hard-headed and neither was likely to give up soon. What was she going to do?

_I'll just have to take it one day at a time,_ she decided. Besides, she had a more immediate problem to deal with. A problem by the name of Earin.

Sighing once again, she went to get ready for what was probably going to be one nightmare of a meal.

((((())))))

"Welcome to our home," Pymera warmly greeted Jack and his companions as she opened the door. She backed away and gestured with her hand. "Please, come in and make yourselves comfortable."

"Thanks. We'll do that," Jack informed her, walking into the house.

The room he entered was almost exactly as he had imagined it would be. Pymera and her snake were living up to their "good girl" image. It was neat, clean, and full of warm fuzzy-inducing things. (Though the stuffed animals were a bit much.) The only surprise was the abundance of strange-looking knickknacks that were being displayed all over the place.

"What are these?" Jonas asked for him, pointing to one.

"_Parting gifts from my former hosts,_" Miss Snaky herself announced. "_Each is very special to me, especially the ones from the hosts who are no longer with us._"

"Ah," Jack commented. "They really, um, complement the decor. Nice. Very snazzy."

"_Thank you,_" Canell smiled. (And for once she didn't blush!)

"And thank you for inviting us into your home," Carter spoke up.

Jack turned to look at her. She had been hanging back from the rest of the group ever since they had picked her up from her guest quarters. She hadn't spoken very much to anyone, which only proved to him that whatever she was hiding was a lot worse than she was letting on. (Jacob may have bought her crap story about it being personal and private, but he wasn't going to. He was going to get the truth out of her no matter what it took.)

However, he had decided that he was going to leave her alone for the rest of the night since she'd made such a big deal over the fact that she was "fine." So far, the extent of his conversation to her had been telling her she looked lovely in her custom made dress. (Which was true. It was perfect on her. Score for the Spinrel clothing designers.) She'd thanked him and smiled that beautiful smile at him and that had been that. Besides, she'd have more than enough trouble with her new "boyfriend" hogging all her attention.

And, speaking of loverboy, where was he? Jack didn't see him anywhere.

"It was our pleasure," Pymera answered Carter. "Dinner will be served once our final guest arrives."

_That answers my question._

"Canell," Jonas said, moving over to her, "why don't you tell the others what we talked about while we're all waiting for Earin?"

The woman's face visibly paled and Jonas moved in closer to her. They began having a very hushed conversation.

"What's going on?" Jack asked in a low voice.

"I do not know, O'Neill," Teal'c answered. "Perhaps they will tell us once they are finished talking."

"It just better not be a wedding announcement," Jack declared.

"A little too soon for that, don't you think?" Jacob joined in with a grin.

"With those two? Who knows," Jack informed him. "You gotta wonder how much _research_ Jonas actually got in today. You saw what the two of them are like together. Scary stuff." He turned to Carter. "What do you think they're talking about?"

She shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"Okay," Jonas finally announced, his arm firmly around Pymera/Canell's waist. (_Oh this so better not be a wedding announcement,_ Jack groaned.) "Ready?"

Whichever one he was talking to nodded.

"We're waiting," Jack prodded. "Tell us already."

"_I... I-I'd like to... To..._" Canell stopped talking and visibly swallowed;

"Go on," Jonas encouraged. "You can do this."

Canell weakly smiled. "_I'd like to tell you about my past..._"

((((())))))

Jonas knew something was going on with Colonel O'Neill and Sam. He just didn't know what.

The two of them had been acting strange all evening. Sam had been quiet, which was completely unlike her. She was usually so talkative and cheerful. Tonight, she'd hardly said a thing, despite the fact that Earin, who obviously liked her, was constantly talking to her. (Normally, even though Sam had it bad for the colonel, she loved the attention of new guys.)

Meanwhile, Colonel O'Neill had practically spent the entire time staring at Sam. (He had it as bad for Sam as she had it for him. It was a wonder they hadn't gotten together already despite the regulations.) He hadn't said more than two words about Canell's confession, which bothered Jonas a lot considering it had been at the colonel's insistence that he had gotten it.

"What's up with Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter?" he asked Teal'c, who was sitting next to him. "They're both acting strange tonight."

"I believe O'Neill is greatly concerned about Major Carter. She has not been herself since we arrived at this house," Teal'c told him.

"You're noticed too, huh?"

Teal'c nodded. "Indeed I have, Jonas Quinn. And I share O'Neill's concerns as well."

"Yeah, me too," Jonas agreed. "I wonder what's wrong."

"Perhaps Jacob Carter knows," Teal'c suggested.

"No," Jonas shook his head. "If he knew, the colonel would know."

"Then we must wait for O'Neill to find out," Teal'c decided. "He and Major Carter share a great deal of affection for one another. It is unlikely that he will wait too long to question her."

Jonas nodded in agreement. "I hope it's nothing too bad."

"As do I."

Jonas felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Are you having a good time?" Pymera asked him.

"Oh, yeah, he smiled, momentarily pushing aside his concerns about his two superior officers. "Good food. Good company. What could be better?"

"I'm so glad," she smiled back. "I hope we can do this more often now that Jack has assured us that he will support our alliance."

"Me, too," he agreed. "And maybe, some time, it could be, you know, just the two of us."

A blush lit up her cheeks. "I'd like that. Very much." Her smile widened. "And so would Canell."

Jonas laughed. "We can't do anything without her approval, now can we?"

"_No,_" Canell smiled.

He was glad to see that she was feeling better. Sharing her past with everyone had lifted a huge burden from her spirit. It was something she should have done a long time ago. She had done nothing wrong and she needed to know it. And having two of her fellow Tok'ra there to emphasize that her host had left her no choice was a big plus. (Both Selmak and Anuck had told her that they would have felt the same way in her place.)

As he opened his mouth to respond there was the sound of sliding chairs. He turned to look and saw Earin and Sam standing up.

"We're going to say good night now," Earin told everyone. "Sam has promised me a walk and I think now is the perfect time for it."

"You two go and enjoy yourselves," Pymera said. "We'll see you both tomorrow."

"Thank you for a lovely evening," Sam smiled. "I had a wonderful time."

"Thank you. It was our pleasure," Pymera told her.

Jonas glanced over at the colonel, who was expressionless and watching Sam.

"Sam," Jacob spoke up. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night, Dad." Her eyes went around the table, avoiding only Colonel O'Neill. "Good night."

"Good night," Earin said as he took Sam by the arm.

"Night," Jonas added to the chorus of farewells.

Again, he checked Colonel O'Neill, but there had been no change. He returned his attention to Sam and Earin as they disappeared from sight.

He leaned in towards Teal'c. "That's a good sign, right? She's showing an interest in a nice guy."

"I do not believe Major Carter's heart was in her promise," Teal'c disagreed. "It is my belief that she is only attempting to protect Earin's feelings."

Jonas snuck another glance at the colonel. He was talking quietly to Jacob. "Yeah. I think you're right."

Suddenly, the colonel stood up.

"I'm, uh, going to stretch my legs," he announced. "They're a little cramped from sitting for so long. Not as young as I used to be. Dinner was great. Enjoyed it." He started walking around the table. "Pymera, Canell, great job. Glad to know that you're on our side and all that." He got to the doorway and gave a little wave. "I'll just see myself out. Night."

And then he was gone.

Jonas looked at Teal'c. "I, uh, think he's going to go question her now."

"Indeed."

((((())))))

Sam smiled politely as Earin droned on about everything and anything. She only half listened as she tried not to think about the disaster dinner had been. All she cared about was that she had gotten away from the prying eyes of her father and Colonel O'Neill.

The evening had been the nightmare she had expected. Both her father and the colonel had spent the entire time watching her, as if they were waiting for her to fall apart at any moment. It had been horrible. So when Earin had suggested taking a walk, she had jumped at the chance.

Earin was a really sweet guy and she hated the way she was treating him, but she had no choice. She was a walking time bomb. If she even developed the slightest attraction to him, he was as good as dead. She couldn't do that to him. She wouldn't do that to anyone ever again.

She had no right.

"Would you like to sit a while?" Earin suggested as they approached a bench.

"Sure," she said, forcing another smile. "That would be nice."

He led her over and they sat down together.

"You've been very quiet tonight," he commented. "Is everything all right?"

She nodded. "I'm just tired. It's been a very long day."

He smiled and patted her arm. "I'm sure. You practically spent all of it trying to learn all about our technology. Don't worry, I won't keep you out too much longer."

"Thanks," she smiled genuinely. "That's very thoughtful of you."

"So, have you given any more thought to whether or not you'll ever be attracted to me?"

_And here we go again._ "Earin, we've been over this," she said. "There's just nothing there. I'm sorry."

"You're very sure of this?" he questioned,

His pathetic expression of hope wrenched her heart. If only things were different... "I'm very sure."

He sighed and moved slightly away from her. "I just don't understand it. What I feel for you is so strong. How can you not feel anything for me?"

_Because if I let myself, you'll die._ "I just don't," she told him. "There's really no reason for it."

"Hmm," he said thoughtfully, "maybe it is because I am pushing you too hard. Perhaps it would be better if I let you work with another scientist tomorrow. That way, when I see you again, you would have had a chance to think about me some more."

_Poor guy._ "It doesn't matter," she informed him. "My feelings for you aren't going to magically change overnight. Look, why can't you accept that we're just friends?"

"Because it does not make sense," he explained. "I told you before that attraction is always mutual here. It is hard for me to believe that it is not the same for your people."

"And as I told you before, it's different on Earth. Attraction comes in many forms, some good and some bad," she said. "We've invested a lot of research in it too. What I feel for you is friendship, Earin. I'm sorry that I can't give you what you want."

He grew very quiet and slid even further away from her. "I just can't understand it," he finally said. He put his hand over his heart. "What I feel right here is so strong and so powerful."

"I'm sorry," she apologized again, feeling awful. He was such a sweet guy. If things were different, she knew she would have already admitted a mutual attraction for him. He had all the qualities she found appealing in a man. (Though, like all the rest, he lacked that special something that had made her fall in love with Jack O'Neill. No other man would ever replace him in her heart. And, _that_, was a scientific fact.)

A silence fell over them once again. Sam couldn't bring herself to look at him. She just stared at the ground and waited for him to say or do something. She felt terrible.

"You know," he broke the silence, "there is one thing I never thought to ask you."

"And what was that?" she asked, afraid of what it was.

"Is there someone else?"

The question took her by surprise. It was such an obvious question, something he should have asked at the very beginning of his confession, yet it had never once crossed her mind.

The truth was, yes, there _was_ someone, but there was no point in telling Earin that because it would hurt him even more. Her love for the colonel was, after all, one sided. He liked her, but didn't _love_ her. Not like she loved him. (Which, for his sake, was a stroke of luck. Better for her to suffer in silence then for him to die a pointless death.)

"No," she lied. "There's no one."

"You must be very lonely," Earin commented.

_I am._ Outwardly, she shrugged. "I'm used to it."

"I feel very sorry for you," he told her. "I know I could have eased your loneliness."

She smiled at him. "I know you could. You're a great guy. One day, you're going to make a woman very happy."

"I wish it would be you."

"I know. Thank you."

"Well," he said, slowly getting to his feet, "I guess I better head on home now. I suggest you do the same if we're going to be working together again. We both need our sleep."

She nodded at him. "I think I'm just going to sit out here for a little while. It's very peaceful."

"Do you know where your quarters are?"

"Yeah. Don't worry," she waved him off. "I'll be fine."

"Very well," he said. "Good night, Sam."

"Good night, Earin. I'm really sorry."

He smiled weakly at her. "I am too. But don't worry about me. I'll be all right in a while."

"I know you will."

He waved at her. "Good night."

"Night."

And then he left.

Sam watched him go and then heaved out a sigh. Breaking Earin's heart had been one of the hardest things she had ever done, but it had been necessary. She had just saved his life. He now had a chance at true happiness as opposed to a short and sweet doomed romance with her.

It was better for him this way.

"Is this bench taken?"

She looked up in surprise as Colonel O'Neill plopped down beside her.

_Oh, no,_ she silently groaned. _How did he find me?_

"Nice night for a walk, isn't it?" the colonel commented when she didn't answer his question.

"Yeah," she nodded, hoping that if she was unresponsive enough, he'd get annoyed and go away.

"So, um, Carter, what was up with blowing off Earin like that?" he bluntly asked. "You usually love annoying lovesick aliens. What's wrong with this one?"

She stared at him with disbelief. He had seen her talking to Earin? How? And how much had he actually heard?

"Were you following me, sir?" she accused him.

"Guilty as charged."

_Oh, god!_ This meant there was no hope of his just getting frustrated and leaving. He'd purposely tailed her from Pymera's. "Why?"

"I think you know the answer to that one, Major. I'm worried about you. Now, answer my question. Why did you send Romeo packing?"

"You heard what I told Earin. I'm just not attracted to him. It's a simple as that."

"So you say," he countered. "But I don't believe you."

"And why is that?"

"I've known you for a long time now, Major. And I've seen you with a lot of guys. You are not one to turn down an offer of romance," he informed her. "Yet, suddenly, on this particular day, you decided that you're not attracted to one. Is that right?"

"That's right. And what's wrong with that? Am I not entitled to not be attracted to someone?"

"Oh, you're entitled," he agreed, "and normally I wouldn't question you. But today you told both me and your father that there's something bothering you. Something big and personal. And I can't help but wonder if maybe that has something to do with your refusal to date the local nerd. Am I on the right track? Even close? Warm?"

"Not that it's any of your business, _Colonel,_ but, yes, it does have something to do with my...problem," she informed him, hoping that this tidbit would satisfy him. "Are you happy?"

"Absolutely ecstatic," the colonel said.

"Now, if you don't mind, sir, I'd like to be alone for a while."

"Well, guess what? I _do_ mind," he retorted. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me everything."

"We've been over this. I can't," she told him. "You need to let it go."

"I can't do that."

"Yes, you can. You just don't want to," she corrected him.

"True," he grinned. "I'm just too damn nosy." He softened his expression. "Seriously, Sam, I want you to tell me."

Sam. She loved it when he called her by her name. Not Carter, not Major. Just Sam. "I'm sorry, sir. I can't."

"Whatever this thing is, it's bad," he argued. "You're not yourself and I hate seeing you like this. I just want to help you. _Let_ me help you."

God, if only he could. But there was nothing he or anyone could do. She was cursed. "You can't. No one can."

She was incredibly touched by the depth of compassion he was showing for her. He may not love her like she loved him, but he cared about her so much. Shutting him out like this hurt him as much as it hurt her. What she'd give to tell him how grateful she was to have him in her life.

"You don't know that."

"I do."

"Why?"

She exhaled in exasperation and moved away from him. Why wouldn't he go away? Why was he doing this to her? "Please let this go. Please."

"No, I'm not," he told her. "Not until I get the answers I came for. Please, Carter."

She felt him move closer to her and he put his hand on her shoulder.

"_Sam._ Tell me."

She shook her head, not looking at him.

"Please," he begged. "Don't force me to make it an order."

And she knew he would. He'd already done it once before today. He was determined to find out her secret. He wasn't going to leave her alone until she told him.

"All right," she sighed, knowing she was about to lose the respect of the man she loved. "All right. You really want to know? I'll tell you."

"Sam, look at me."

She raised her face to meet his gaze.

"Whatever it is, I won't be angry or hurt or whatever you're afraid I'll be," he told her. "I promise."

She nodded, knowing that he was just saying that because he had no idea of what to expect. This was one promise that was going to be broken.

"You're probably just going to laugh," she informed him.

"I promise not to do that either. Scout's honor." He made the Boy Scout sign with his hand and grinned at her.

She gave a small smile. This was part of the reason she loved him so much. Underneath all the bravado and sarcasm was a very kind and caring human being.

Sam took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for his reaction. "I'm cursed."

His eyes widened momentarily, but his expression did not change. "Cursed?"

She nodded. "Yes, sir. Cursed." She waited for the laughter.

It didn't come.

"Okay. So, um, how does this...this 'curse' of yours work?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"Well, sir, whenever a man that I find attractive tries to initiate a relationship with me, he dies," she told him. _He's going to laugh or call me insane any second now._

He studied her for a moment and then nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, I could see how you would get that impression."

"Colonel?" She was surprised at how calmly and seriously he was taking this. She would have thought he would have had her hauled off to the funny farm by now.

"Seriously, I can see how you'd think that," he told her. "You've just had a lot of bad luck, that's all. It's not your fault every guy who puts the moves on you ends up dead or turns out to be a bad guy. That would probably make anyone think they were cursed."

"I don't think so," she disagreed. "It happens too often just to be bad luck. I'm cursed, sir. There's no denying it."

"Sam..."

"I want to believe so badly that it's just bad luck," she went on. "But it's not. Why do you think I was up all night? I was running all the possibilities through my head of why I have no love life. But I could only come to one conclusion: the curse is real." She sighed and pulled away from the hand that still rested on her shoulder. "I'm sure you think I'm crazy now."

"No," he quietly said. "I don't."

She gave a bitter laugh. "You should. _I_ can hardly believe it and I'm the one who finally realized it. It's so ridiculous, but I can't dispute the facts. And the facts all point to a curse."

Another silence fell between them and she looked away, unable to bear looking at him anymore. She only wanted him to go away and leave her alone with her misery. His attempt to understand her problem was only making things worse.

"So how come I'm not dead?"

"What?" she breathed, shocked by his question.

"Why am I still alive?" he demanded to know. "You said any man you were attracted to died, right? So, I'll ask again: why aren't I dead?"

She just stared at him, open mouthed. She couldn't believe he had just said that. It was the first time since the za'tarc incident that he had actually verbalized his feelings for her. She had never doubted that they were still there, but to hear him acknowledge them...

"Sam, why aren't I dead?" he asked again.

"Because... Because..."

He put his hand on her back this time. "Why am I still alive?"

The implication of his words was both comforting and painful. His question was telling her that he cared for her a lot more than she had ever believed, something she had only dreamed he did. She loved him so much...

She felt tears well up in her eyes and quickly looked away, not wanting him to see her cry. Of all the times for him to finally admit this to her. Why had he chosen now? Now when she had just come to realize the danger she posed to him or any man who had feelings for her?

"Tell me, Sam," he urged. "Why?"

"Because you've never tried to initiate a relationship with me," she finally answered.

"Then maybe it's time I did."

Her head shot back up, not believing what he had just said.

He reached out and wiped away one of her tears. "There's something you need to know," he said very quietly. "Something I've been keeping to myself for a long time now."

She didn't move or say a word, afraid that he was about to tell her the one thing that until last night she had been dreaming to hear. Now that dream had become her worst nightmare.

"I love you, Samantha Carter," Jack O'Neill told her.

"No. No," she shook her head, pulling away from him. "Oh, no."

"Sam..."

"No," she repeated. "Do you realize what you just said?"

"Yes," he said, moving towards her. "I love you, Sam."

"No, you can't love me. You shouldn't love me," she told him. "I don't want you to die."

"I won't," he promised.

"You will," she told him. "They always do. They always die."

"You're not cursed," he said. "And this is the only way I can't think of to prove it to you."

"I am," she disagreed. "Take everything you said back. Please. I don't want to lose you. I _can't_ lose you. I've come too close too many times. I want you to be safe. I..."

"Shh," he attempted to calm her as he began to pull her into his arms. "You're wrong. There is no curse."

"Yes there is," she said, breaking out of his hold. "Don't you understand? You go through with this and you'll die."

"You think that scares me?" he questioned her. "You forget, I've died tons of times already. Bunches!" He gave her a small smile. "Remember the Baal incident? That guy gave new meaning to the words 'serial killer'. He killed me more times in those few days then I got offed over the previous four years."

"That's not the same," she told him. "You had no choice any of those times. You'd be walking willingly into this one. I can't let you do that, sir."

"Jack," he corrected. "Please."

"Jack." She liked the feel of the word in her mouth. She'd longed to call him by his first name for so long... "Don't do this. Save yourself. I'm not worth it."

"You're worth everything there is," he told her, reaching out to gently caress her cheek. "I love you."

This time she didn't move away. "You're making a mistake."

"Let me be the judge of that."

"Please. Don't do this. I... I..."

"Sam..."

"Please... I can't lose you... I...I love you."

Jack sat up straighter.

"I _love_ you," she repeated. "I've loved you from almost the moment that we met. You do this and I'll never forgive myself. I won't let you throw your life away for me."

She looked away from him again. There, she'd said it. She told him how she felt. Maybe now he'd understand why she was pushing him away. She prayed he'd give up and leave her alone.

"Sam."

She felt his hands take her face and she found herself looking into his eyes.

"Get it through that stubborn blonde head of yours. I _love_ you. I've loved you for years. And, more amazingly, you love me too. Who'd have ever thought?" He smiled at her. "You think there's any way in hell that I'm going to let things go back to the way they were before? Not a chance, Major.

"And like I said, I don't care if you think you're dangerous to guys. Your love is worth the risk. _You're_ worth any risk."

"Jack..." Fresh tears spilled from her eyes. She'd never known he felt this way. Why was he doing this to himself? Why?

"I'm not letting you go," he emphasized. "I love you."

She didn't know what to do. Now that he knew how she felt, he was never going to back away. He'd rather die than go back to pretending that he didn't love her.

"Tell you what? Just keep a few sarcophagi handy and we're set," he grinned at her. "Every time I die, you bring me back to life. Deal?"

She couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Okay then. Problem solved." His grin relaxed and he moved his face closer to hers, his thumbs wiping at her tears. "Now on to more important things."

And then he kissed her.

Sam didn't even try to fight it. She'd wanted this for so long that her response was almost instinctual. She was swept away by the power and the passion he was giving to her. Resisting him was a lost cause.

So, she kissed him back with everything she had. She couldn't help herself. She loved him. (God, how she loved him.) He'd won her over.

There was no turning back now. He loved her and that was that. Nothing could change his mind.

He'd chosen his fate.

He'd chosen _her._

And as guilty as she felt about it, she didn't think she could live any other way.

((((())))))

Jack reluctantly separated himself from Sam. Their makeout session was getting a little too hot and heavy for their public location. (For someone who was trying so hard to push him away, Sam was quite the enthusiastic kisser!) He needed to be the wet towel until they could find someplace a little more private, preferably one of their homes back on Earth. He didn't know about her, but he was definitely not an exhibitionist!

He pulled her into an embrace. "I love you," he told her again, just to reinforce things. He wanted to make sure she knew how he felt about her. (As if the kiss hadn't made things perfectly clear enough?) So what if he put her happiness before his own life? (He still didn't believe that she was cursed, but, hey, it didn't hurt to play it safe, right?) She deserved all the happiness in the world. She was a very special woman. And now she was his.

Who'd have ever thought? Dreams _do_ come true!

"I love you too," she murmured against his chest.

They just sat there for a time, her warm body in his arms. He liked the feel of holding her against him like that. It felt so...right.

"Jack?" she asked after a while.

"Yes?"

"So, what now? Where do we go from here?"

"I really don't know." He hadn't given any thought to the consequences of telling her how he felt. Nothing else but her had seemed important at the time. She was sad and he had only longed to make her feel better. Now that he had, he'd opened up a whole new can of worms.

He never dreamed that he'd see the day when he'd flagrantly defy centuries of military protocol. But here he was, embarking on a romantic relationship with his second-in-command. And there was no getting around the fact that if they were caught, it would mean a court martial for both of them.

The easiest thing to do would be for them to go back to pretending that their relationship was nothing more than a mutual attraction. But, he couldn't do that to her. Or himself, for that matter. He loved her and wanted to be able to openly show her how he felt. With her misguided belief that she was cursed, she needed to be constantly told that her love was worth everything.

"I can't go back to the way things were," she told him. "Not when I know that you love me."

"I can't either," he told her. "I think we might have a problem then."

She pulled out of his embrace. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault. If I'd only-"

"Sam," he cut her off. "It's not your fault, okay?" He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Don't even think that. We'll think of something. Somehow. I promise."

She smiled gratefully at him. "I love you."

"We'll get through this. Together," he promised. He pulled her back into his arms. "I'll never let you go." He kissed her hair and stroked her back as she snuggled against him.

They fell into a comfortable silence again. Jack didn't know what he was going to do, but he had meant what he said. He wasn't ever letting her go. She was his now. He'd find a way for them to stay together, just like he had promised her. He was sure of it.

"I had a feeling I'd find the two of you like this," a voice interrupted them.

Jack sat up straight and felt Sam do the same.

"Dad!" Sam exclaimed as she saw who the intruder was.

"Hey, Jacob," Jack casually greeted the father of his love. He wasn't at all surprised to see him. After all, he was the one who had encouraged Jack to go after Sam in the first place.

"It's about time you two got your act together," Jacob commented. "Congratulations."

"Dad?" Poor Sam sounded incredulous.

"I told you he cared about you, didn't I?" Jacob went on. "Glad to see you finally told her, Jack."

"The pleasure was all mine, Jake," Jack grinned, putting his arm around Sam. "And I do mean mine."

"Jack," Sam groaned, but she didn't resist when he pulled her against him again.

"I couldn't help but overhear what you were talking about just now," Jacob went on. "The two of you don't have a thing to worry about. George owes me a couple. I think I can get him to...overlook a few things."

"Just what exactly do you have over our dear old general?" Jack wanted to know.

Jacob grinned. "Oh, I could tell you stories."

"I'm sure you could," Jack agreed, smirking.

"Stop it you two," Sam interrupted. "In all seriousness, Dad. You really think General Hammond is going to ignore two of his highest ranking officers violating the non-fraternization regulations?"

"I don't see why not," Jacob told her. "He ignores lots of things he's not supposed to." He looked at Jack. "Or so I've been told."

"Indeed he does," Jack verified. "The list just goes on and on and on."

Jacob walked over to them and put his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Don't you worry about a thing, Sweetheart. When I told you I just wanted you to be happy, I meant it. I'll take care of this." He looked at Jack. "You better take good care of my little girl, Colonel. We know where you live."

Jack gave him a mock salute. "You don't have a thing to worry about. Right, Sam?"

Sam just smiled.

"Well, I better head on back to Pymera's before she sends the entire city after me. I told her that I'd be right back after I checked on the two of you. Though, she may want a little more time alone with Jonas," Jacob grinned. "It got pretty bad after Teal'c and Anuck left. I think they just used you two as an excuse to get rid of me."

"Oh, I'm sure they wanted a little privacy," Jack agreed, looking at Sam. _Just like I do._ "She and Jonas are just perfect for each other. Just knock before you enter any rooms."

"Jack!" Sam laughed.

"What?"

Jacob just shook his head. "Good night, you two. Behave yourselves."

"Yes, sir," Jack grinned.

"Selmak says the same thing," Jacob added. "Neither of us want any grandchildren out of wedlock."

"Dad!" Sam cried. "Please!"

"Hey, I'm just covering my bases here," Jacob defended himself.

"Good _night,_ Jacob," Jack spoke up. "We'll see you in the morning."

He smiled. "Good night."

"Good night," Sam added.

Jack watched Jacob disappear into the night.

"So, let's say we head on back to our quarters?" Jack proposed. "It's gotten pretty late."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "And I need to be up early tomorrow to get back to the lab."

"With Earin?" he teased.

She sighed. "What am I going to do about him? I know I really hurt his feelings tonight."

He kissed her lightly. "You only did it for his own good. Besides, his loss is my gain, right?"

"Right," she smiled.

He stood up and brought her with him. "Come on. We've got a long walk ahead of us. I'm sure you'll fall right to sleep as soon as you hit your bed."

"But I don't want to say good night right away," she told him. "I want to stay with you."

He stared at her, hearing but not believing what she was saying. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "We only have tonight and tomorrow before we have to go home. We've wasted so much time already. Once we get back, who knows how long it'll be before we can find any time for us? I want to use our time here to the fullest. I want to be with you, Jack.

"All night."

He leaned down and kissed her. "I love you. Whatever you want is yours."

"I only want you," she said. "I love you."

He kissed her again and then wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her against him.

"Let's go back."

And then they started walking, arm in arm.

Hearts and souls intertwined forever.

((((())))))

"Whoa," Jonas commented as he observed Colonel O'Neill openly kiss Sam fully on the mouth.

"I believe they have talked as we had hoped, Jonas Quinn," Teal'c told him. "It is good to see that they have finally admitted their feelings."

"Yeah," Jonas agreed. "But I don't know how well that's going to go over back home. You've read up on military regulations, right?"

"Indeed I have," Teal'c confirmed. "But General Hammond will most likely make an exception for Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter."

"Probably," Jonas nodded. "I think the general along with everyone else at the SGC knew that this was inevitable."

"Morning, team," the colonel greeted as he and Sam came over to them. "Did we miss anything exciting after we left last night?"

"Um, not really," Jonas told him. "Everyone pretty much left after you did."

"Really? I heard you stayed a little later," the colonel said.

"Not too much," Jonas clarified. "Pymera and I, um, talked for a while and then I went back to my room."

"You just...talked?" the colonel questioned.

"Um..." Okay, so they had done a little more than talking. They'd kissed a couple of times. It had been very nice.

"You don't have to answer him, Jonas," Sam jumped in. "Colonel O'Neill is just being nosy."

"I can't help myself. I'm just so good at it," the colonel announced.

Sam glared at him.

"Anyway," the colonel continued, "Major Carter and I need to talk to you about some..._changes_ that went down last night."

"There is no need, O'Neill," Teal'c said. "Jonas Quinn and I are aware of the change in your relationship. Allow me to offer my congratulations to both of you. May the years bring both of you much happiness."

"Well, I'll be a monkey's Aunt Brittany," the colonel said. "How'd you already know that?"

"We, um, saw you over there," Jonas offered with a little smile.

"D'oh!" the colonel groaned.

"We have been aware of your shared emotions for a great deal of time," Teal'c added. "Even Daniel Jackson knew of them."

"Yikes," Sam commented. "So much for hiding our feelings."

"Hey, I never said I was a good actor," the colonel defended himself.

"Good morning."

Jonas turned to see Pymera approaching them.

"Hi," he greeted her.

"Hi," she sent back, blushing slightly.

"Did you have a nice night?"

"It was wonderful," she told him. "Especially the part before you left."

Jonas felt himself turn bright red. They had kissed A LOT towards the end of the evening. Nothing inappropriate, of course, but it had been getting there. "Yeah. We'll have to do it again."

Pymera kissed him on the cheek. "Yes. Maybe tonight."

Jonas felt himself turn even brighter.

"Looks like Carter and I weren't the only ones undergoing a 'change' in relationship," the colonel smirked.

Jonas wanted to die.

Sam came over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about him. I'll take care of him later." She winked.

He smiled weakly at her. "Thanks, Major."

"Not a problem."

"Did you and Sam have a good night after you left?" Pymera asked them.

The colonel and Sam gave each other a look.

"You could say that," Colonel O'Neill said and Jonas swore Sam turned a bit pink in the cheeks.

"That is good. Canell and I were a little worried when Jacob took a while to locate the both of you," Pymera said.

"And speaking of my father, where is he this morning?" Sam wanted to know.

"_He and Anuck are in a conference with the Tok'ra high command,_" Canell informed her. "_They are sharing what I...told them last night._"

"Would you all like to get some breakfast?" Pymera questioned as she resurfaced.

"I know I would," Jonas volunteered.

Pymera giggled. "I think I know exactly what to order for you too."

Jonas smiled. "Am I that transparent?"

"Well, you did eat a ton of it last night," she pointed out. "Our supply of cyacina is being seriously depleted thanks to you."

Jonas grinned. "That's your fault, now isn't it?"

Pymera heaved a mock sigh. "I will never make the same mistake again."

And then the two of them broke down into giggles.

"Oh for crying out loud!"

((((())))))

"Those two are going to make me sick," Jack informed Sam as they slowly followed behind Pymera, Jonas, and Teal'c.

"Aww, I think it's sweet," Sam told him. "I'm glad for Jonas. He deserves someone like Pymera."

"But do they have to be like _that?_" Jack complained. "I mean, come on! They need to get a room!"

"I thought that was our problem," Sam smirked, leaning against him. "Besides, this is obviously the first serious relationship for either of them. This is all very new to them. They haven't been around the block like we have."

"And I'd do it all again just to end up right here," he seriously told her. "Have I told you I love you today?"

"About a dozen or more times," Sam smiled. "I think I get the point. And I love you too."

Jack stopped walking and wheeled Sam around to face him. "Good." And then he leaned in to kiss her.

It was slow and sweet, which was exactly how she liked it. It was amazing at how well Jack knew her.

"What was that for?" she asked with a grin when it had ended.

He shrugged. "I just felt like it. Got a problem with that, Major?"

"Not at all, sir. In fact," she smiled, "I could get used to being kissed like that."

"I think I can arrange it," he smiled back. "We've got our whole lives ahead of us."

She knew he had said that because of her belief that she was cursed, but she refused to argue with him about it. She'd had enough of that last night. When he'd learned that she loved him, he had made it clear that nothing was going to stop him from initiating a relationship with her. He had been in love with her almost as long as she'd been in love with him. He wanted to be with her no matter what, curse or not.

She looked at the man in front of her and realized just how lucky she was to have someone like him in her life. He was everything to her: superior officer, friend, and now lover. For over six years, he'd been with her, hidings his feelings as she hid her own, never giving up the hope that one day they could be together. Just like her. Not many people would do that for anyone. But he'd done it for her, just like she'd waited for him. And now that they were together, it was a dream come true.

She loved him desperately and prayed that he was right about her curse existing only in her imagination. She couldn't bear to lose him, especially not now.

Yet, when she thought about it, it was only _because_ she believed she was cursed that they were now together. If it hadn't been for her "discovery," she'd probably be attempting a relationship with Earin right now instead of sharing a moment with the man she truly loved. There would have been no worry or concern from Jack that would have driven him to follow her and order her to reveal everything. Nothing would have changed and they would still be pretending the feelings weren't there.

_A blessing in disguise,_ she mused, wondering if that was what it truly was. A blessing that had finally brought her together with the man she loved.

She looked deep into his eyes, no longer afraid of the future. No longer convinced she was cursed. Only thinking about how much he meant to her.

"I love you," she said to him as he held her in his arms.

And his only answer was to pull her into another satisfying kiss.


End file.
